Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The indifferent happiness

Apparently it's possible to be happy no matter what. Be it listening to (tripping on, actually) the most awesome music being played live at point blank range on the beach, or lying alone in a hospital bed with a dislocated shoulder, alternating between crying with pain and moving my good arm to the tune of music still playing in my head, and everything in between and beyond. I don't know how to explain it. Is it because i'm on vacation? Is it because i'm surrounded by awesome people? Is it because i feel loved and trusted? I don't think so.

i think it just is.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

(not) another of those dreams

gentle plea: please don't tell my ex- about this one :D

so i had a dream two nights ago. nothing out of the ordinary about that.

the dream was weird though. so weird that when i woke up, the first thing i thought was "i must blog this". and the second thing i thought was "this could possibly fuck up all my future relationships if any of the women concerned read this". the third thing i thought was "what the fuck. what the *fuck*!!!"

still, my chances of having a relationship with a normal girl are as close to zero as 1/x as x -> infinity (more on that in a later post), so this couldn't possibly dent them by much anyway...and i promised myself that if i remember the dream at the end of the day, i'd blog it. and i do, even two days later. so here goes:

first, the setting: we're in a small village surrounded by a high rock wall, somewhere in the mountains. more like a high-is plateau surrounded by mountains on 3 sides and a valley on one. she lives near the middle of the village, but slightly to one side. i live right near the wall on the other side. it's early evening (4ish?) on a cloudy day.

also, my ex- in this dream (let's call her "D"), in a stark contradiction to her real-life namesake, is short, darkish, and rather thin. but her name was the same, as was her voice, and the way her hands felt. and i remember that she was my ex- in the dream too.

okay, so now the dream.

D and i were near the middle of the village (in front of the village square, on the other side from the school). generally fooling around with each other (pulling cheeks, pushing each other...friendly messing around). making small talk (surprisingly, i don't remember the conversation at all).

she announced that she had to take a walk outside the village. i had to go home. we walked together till our ways parted, near the entrance. said the usual goodbyes.

then as she walked off, i called her back.

i pulled her up to me and kissed her.

she tried to get away.

just before letting go, i told her i was going away forever.

she held onto me and refused to let go.

i asked her if she'd remember me.

she told me she'll remember me, and every single moment we shared.

(trippy sequence to follow - the words don't describe the pictures in my head very accurately)

suddenly, instantly, the sky grew completely overcast. black as night. one of us tripped on something and we both fell, holding onto each other.

i tried again to let go and stand up, but she didn't let me.

people were stumbling by in the darkness, and i was very embarrassed, thinking they'd notice us both lying in the darkness on the path holding on to each other...but she refused to let go.

suddenly the clouds parted, letting just a thin bright crack of sunlight through. and as if through two prisms, we saw two bright rainbows. the rainbows parted and moved away in opposite directions. we watched on, holding onto each other, dumbstruck by what was happening in the sky.

we then realized the rainbows were being formed by light passing through some sort of satellite or spacecraft or something.

the things in the sky started moving irregularly away from each other.

suddenly one of them exploded in the sky with a flash of light.

a few seconds later the other one exploded, just as the clouds parted quickly to reveal an almost clear evening sky.

i then started telling D about why it was pointless buying bottled water when tap water is as good.

a guy who had fallen down nearby in the darkness, and was also staring at the sky joined in the discussion and told us that he agreed with what i was telling her too.

(and then i woke up)

Thursday, December 17, 2009


It's an awesome feeling when, faced with something you can't understand, despite wanting to give up on it, you find yourself thrown into the midst of it, start tackling it on a "need to know" basis, and suddenly realise you understand it completely!

- kris, in bed, after one of many late nights at work :)

ps: also probably the longest sentence on my blog too :D

Friday, December 04, 2009

Telephonic multitasking #win!

Yesterday evening, while about to leave from work, i had to call a friend to let him know i was leaving soon. I was already on another call on my desk phone, so i decided i'll dial his number and put my desk phone on hold when he answers.

he answered. Said something. At the same time my other friend said something else. I was about to ask her to hold the line when i realised i was gonna say the same thing to both of them.

and that's what i did.

my friends are t and y, and i'm k:

k: i'm about to leave

t: give me 2 minutes
y: how long will you take? Say 5 minutes?

k: yeah...don't delay, please!

t: ya ya i'm hurrying!
y: gimme a missed call when you're in the parking lot.

k: cool. See ya!

t: okieeee byeeeee!
y: chal see ya!

k: bye

ladies and gentlemen, a new level of #awesomeness has been breached.

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

how to wake up thinking it's monday morning

i woke up few minutes ago from the strangest dream:

it was set near my home, on a weekday afternoon. i was (for some inexplicable reason) walking home in my office wear, but not walking on the streets. instead i was jumping building walls to get home (which is quite possible in IC, twisted and roundabout as the roads are). and my 50+ year old uncle, (who lives and works in vasai btw) happens to be following me to my place, jumping walls etc. he catches up with me. we start jumping walls together. jump the last wall towards home. my building is now across the road.

and then we spot a police van.

it was about 30 metres up the road, at the crossroads nearest my place. and it was loaded with police who were getting out, but the ones who got out were just standing around the van and looking at it noncommittally.

my uncle grabbed my hand and said "we gotta get away from here".

and then we walk, hand in hand, *TOWARDS* the van (which is further away than my home now is, btw), but keeping to the opposite side of the narrow road. i was pretty embarassed to be walking around holding a man's hand, but i said to myself, "what the hell, he's my dad's brother - almost as close as my dad", and that is apparently convincing enough.

we start making small talk, discussing work etc, while we circle around the next block. which, btw, will get us exactly to where we started from, opposite the road from my home.

and then suddenly, a good friend of mine drives by and stops a couple of metres away. which is strange, because she doesn't know how to drive, and doesn't own a car either.

first, a little about the friend: she's a girl who wants to be a guy, and is currently saving up and preparing for the "operation".

so now this friend waves at me and then calls me towards the car, and then says "hey, hope you aren't offended by my question, but are you gay?"

i explain that he's my uncle and we're doing this so that cops don't come after us. i then call him over to the car and introduce them both.

strangely, my uncle asks us how we know each other, and she says it's through my friend reena who also lives in vasai, and that he might know her too. the truth is that i've known her for 10 years now, and known reena for a little over half a year. and none of them know each other!

so apparently my uncle does not know reena, and we're back to walking around the block, hand in hand (even though the cops are on the other side of the block and can't see us), and i even start swinging my arms like a kid while we walk.

and then the alarm goes off.

the first thing that went through my head: "fuck. it's monday morning."

and it's wednesday morning.

ps: i snoozed the alarm, and mentally replayed the dream so that i don't forget it. i fell asleep halfway and probably re-dreamed some parts too. the is the version that remained in my brain some 15 minutes after waking.

pps: the dream is here thanks to three tweeple who responded "yes" within 30 seconds of me tweeting "should i blog my dream" :D

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Dear diary (or the futility of all human relationships)

I had an awesome day today. Slept well, had a good breakfast, a long ride across the length of the city, an awesome lunch with great company, an evening on marine drive that flew by faster than i could catch it, night in bandra having a great time with nicky, followed by a ride home, a dinner of steamed fish while watching my first ever blu-ray movie (the ugly truth, for the record - nice movie!). And now i'm in bed with the lights out.

and suddenly everything seems to fall apart.

i'm sick of this. Of things that are perfect, things that are kinda awesome, things that are fucked up.

why does everything have to be either sweet, bitter-sweet, or bitter? Why should everyone leave this sickening taste at the back of my mouth?

on awesome days like this one, i await the blank loneliness of the void.

good night, diary!

Thursday, November 26, 2009

the twenty sixth of november

i don't know why i do some of the things i do.

i have always been half a cynic at heart.

but i don't know what happened to me last night or why, when i decided i'm going to maintain 24 hours of internet silence in memory of yesterday, last year.

every time i opened twitter and felt the urge to tweet, i said a silent prayer.

because ultimately, that's where i think our sole hope lies.

not in the power of the police.

not in the power of the government.

not in the power of foreign policy.

not in the power of terror.

it's the power in us. in our deeds. in our thoughts. in our prayers. in our spirit.

we will never forget. even when we forget why.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

delayed translation #win (or why it's so hard to buy tuna)

for the last 26 years of my life, i've only had tuna from a tin. i never wondered why. i kinda assumed it's cos we don't get it in the sea around here.

till one day a couple of weeks ago, mom made tuna curry, without telling me.

i loved it.

i asked her which fish it was.

i was told it's tuna.

i asked her where she got it from.

i was told it was from the local fish market.

i asked her how come she'd never brought it before.

i was told it's because she never know what's the local (marathi) word for tuna.

mom's been buying fish for atleast 40 years now.

all i could say was "now that you know what it's called, please buy it more often" :D

ps: the fish is called "kuupa" :)


i remember the last time there was a H1N1 scare in mumbai. it was the week that ended on 14th august 2009. there were reminder emails being sent out requesting people to stay at home if they showed any sort of flu symptoms, we had hand sanitizers kept ready, face masks were made available on request, etc. i stopped all contact with doors, etc (yesh, i was actually pushing doors open with my foot, and using napkins to touch doorknobs etc)

everyone in my office was sneezing and coughing. a small fraction of them stayed at home too.

even the normally nonchalant working mumbai junta were wearing face masks or poorly draped handkerchiefs UNDER their helmets and inside their air conditioned cars on the roads.

i survived the week without a sneeze or a cough or a face mask.

we then had independence day on the 15th, and people (not me, i was busy drinking away my birthday :D) gathered in large numbers for flag hoisting, parades etc, despite all logic that said it's best to stay away from crowded places. and the next monday, everyone i saw was fit as a fiddle. not a mask in sight, on the roads even!

a couple of days ago, we all got another reminder email that H1N1 flu is spreading in the northern hemisphere.

everyone in my office is sneezing and coughing. few people are staying home too.

i have a bad cold, a sore throat, and a mild fever.

i think we'll need a national celebration this weekend.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

multi-polar disorder

there's the joker kris, who pokes fun of everyone and anyone.

there's the butt of all jokes kris who only makes his appearance with a few friends who know him well enough to not be scared of him taking their case in return.

there's the emo kris, that only a few women know about, since he calls them up once a couple of weeks to cry on the phone.

there's the reading kris, who would rather shut himself in a book than talk (he hasn't made an appearance for over 5 years now).

there's the shy kris, who people suspect exist, but most haven't seen. he's been awol since 1999, cos everytime he tries to make an appearance, the kris' shout him down.

(quoted from a mail i sent someone - been lying in my blog drafts for 8 months now!!!)

Monday, November 16, 2009

chronicles of happy times!!!

that's some amazing dark lager in the pitcher there. and with the amount of alcohol in my blood, you could probably call my pee kingfisher or something :D

ps: you just gotta go to the "first brewhouse" aka doolally at corinthian club, pune, and have the beer for yourself. it's the first (and probably only) microbrewery in this country!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Lens flare on my phone's fixed-focus camera!

Lens flare on my phone's fixed-focus camera! Whoever'd have imagined that!!!

(that's the sun setting through a gap in my office's window blinds, photographed by my O2 Zinc)

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Thursday, October 15, 2009

First reactions

So out of curiosity, i asked some of my male friends, both on and off twitter, the following question:

"if your ex- (who you're not in touch with) was to call you, what would your first thought (before answering/not answering the phone) be?"

Here's their answers, followed by mine:

@s4sukhdeep: something went wrong in her life.. :-/

@Surajram: I dunno if my Ex will ever try to talk to me again. So I'll be jubilant if she calls me.

@Desininja: i'll wish she says "It was my mistake baby. I'm back."

@jhayu: i guess it would depend on how things ended with the ex. If it was on a god note, it would be 'i wonder why she's calling'. If not, it would be 'why the fuck is she calling me'.

Aaron: "Wtf did she do nw?!?!?"

@textualoffender: My thought would be, Wtf followed by hmmm

Vane: It would be 'shit, what happened to her now.'

Vamsi: She's getting married!

@Asfaq: I'd think maybe she has some work from me

Yorick: If < 9 months, "Oh fuck i hope she's not expecting", if > 9 months, "Oh mother of fucks i hope she's not delivered"...

Me: ahh she's back to playing games. Probably just got dumped!

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Through the clouds

There's nothing like hurtling through the sky at a few hundred miles an hour, with the evening sun streaming through wispy clouds, the sea waves below looking like tiny ripples, but stretching to infinity, just like the carpet of clouds around us.

As my friend said...we might just catch a glimpse of god racing past us on his private cloud :)

Ps: this is my second flight ever. On the first one, i remember circling mumbai as one of the most breathtaking sights. This one had a beautiful pre-sunset, clouds, rain, AND turbulence!!!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Dying by degrees

Everyone warns me about things i should take care of. Things that could ruin my life, or even end it.

You know what? That's not gonna happen.

That 15 hour solo bike ride isn't gonna do me any harm. That slice of chocolate cake isn't gonna put me into a coma.

What's gonna kill me are the little things. Things that kill me bit by bit, day by day. The wasted days. The things i should've done. The people i should have cared about. The rotten apples i should've thrown away. They are what's killing me.

And somehow it feels like i'm the only one who sees them.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

can i imagine an awesome feature please?

a few minutes ago, on the team chat room:
J [Thu 1:22 PM]: perhaps to confuse things, but: isn't there a "resend with comment" option in (X)? or did I imagine that?
G [Thu 1:24 PM]: i didn't have that option
J [Thu 1:25 PM]: if you don't have the option, chances are it's my imagination :) thanks, G!
G [Thu 1:26 PM]: your imagination should become a reality ;)

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

DeeSee invites you to check out DeeSee

lesson to be learned: never title your blog with just your own name. or if you do, don't send out blogger's automated invitation mails. unless you want people to check you out, that is :D

Date: Thu, Sep 3, 2009 at 3:38 PM
Subject: DeeSee invites you to check out DeeSee

I'm following DeeSee and think you'll be interested in it as well. To check it out, follow the link below:

Google Friend Connect helps people with common interests discover interesting sites and interesting people. To learn more, visit

ps: DeeSee's blog is *nice*. after you're done with your giggles, do check it out!!!

Friday, August 28, 2009

how to win (cute) friends and influence people

first, some background. i've been pestering a certain cute cute_divya on twitter for her phone number for a while (yeah, i know, it's something i love to do ;)). so after atleast 2 weeks of badgering, she finally DM'd me her number. sms conversation follows:

(if you don't know already, k = me, c = cute_divya)

k: So you finally have my number...or do you? Am I texting you from my friend's number? You shall find out shortly! :O

c: And how can u be sure this is my number? What if its a friend's phone that i've temporarily borrowed? :P

k: Hehe that's exactly why i'm using my friend's phone. Everyone else just gets my number don't, because u hesitated so much. Say hi to ur friend :D

c: Yeah he's really excited to talk to u. He's just waiting for ur call. He thinks ur hot. U can communicate with him now that u have his number. :P

k: Nice! Hope he doesn't sleep too late. I find late night conversations exciting! I'll have to call him from my own phone though ;)

c: His preferences are slightly 'different', u see. :P

k: Hehe different from me? I think not! We're both looking for the same thing, and I know it! Does he live with his parents or alone? I'm so excited already!

c: When r u calling?

k: You know what, you ask too many irrelevant questions. Give the phone back to your friend. I'll sms him, and I can dm you on twitter! What's his name btw?

c: Ummm.. :o i don't know.

k: don't know your friend's name? Wow, you amaze me! How did this happen?

c: Well i was making all that up, so couldn't think of an appropriate name for a gay guy. U got me there.

k: Oops. Well, say hi to my friend varun. This is his number. I'll text you from my phone when i'm done with work later today ;)

c: Ok

k: What ok? Say hi properly atleast! He's wondering why i've taken his phone away for so long! And i'm treating him to compensate for all the smses i've sent!

c: Ok hi varun how r u? Hope everythings ok with u.

k: hi divya i m gr8 .how r u ?

c: Hmmm i think u should stick to DMing me.

k: i dnt kno wht is tht .its ok i dnt wnt 2 trubl u .kris told me 2 trubl u .let it b .bye .

c: Ok :o

c: Hey i'm sorry didn't mean to be rude or anything with u. Just fooling around with Kris :)

k: ya its ok .he will treat me wthout readin these sms .so do u wnt 2 sms me ?

c: Yeah he better treat u for misusing ur phone like this :P and no ya i don't have much balance in my cell to keep smsing. But u can follow me on twitter.

k: thts nice ,bt i dnt kno wht is twitter .can u add on orkut ?v dnt hv orkut in office i use it at home .my name on orkut is varun j

c: Yes u can scrap me on orkut. Search for divya choco angel.

k: ok gr8 .i think ur balance mst b almost ovr .il scrap u 2nit .hw do u kno kris btw ?

k: ok kris told me to stop troubling u n delete ur num ,so il do tht .u cn add on facebook if u want .my name isnt varun ,its kristopher noronha .im nt on orkut .

c: Hmmm playing games :)

k: Hehe...yesh! And remember, I got your number first. So I won the bet! Woo hoo!!! What's my prize again? ;)

Saturday, August 22, 2009

how to embarrass yourself at work: part n

this one's been waiting for a while, so apologies if you've heard it from me in person:

rewind to a certain thursday in july.

we were going out for a team lunch. a teammate was gonna accompany me on my bike to the restaurant, while everyone else takes a rickshaw.

and i couldn't raise my leg enough to swing it over the bike seat. lost my balance and almost fell, to fits of laughter from the rest of my team.

that was the prelude. the best moment would happen a few hours later.

in the office restroom. me almost done with my post-hearty-lunch-crap.

stood up to pull my pants back on.

the door opens.

turns out i forgot to lock it.

thankfully, i was standing, so the door hit my elbow and couldn't open further. i heard a startled grunt from whoever was on the other side, and probably said "horh" myself.

i waited for the guy to enter another stall and hear the sound of him locking it before i dared step out.

Friday, August 21, 2009


It's strange, how I can't type anything anymore without it looking like an extended tweet, an email, or a page from my diary. I just deleted three half-typed diary pages that were about to find their way to the blog :)

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

the dream

i had an awesome dream two nights ago. awesome, mainly because i can still remember it in such detail. since such moments are to be chronicled, i shall do the honours now.

scene: we're in a truck (the sort that are covered with tarp on the top, open at the sides). it's a moonlit night. it's raining lightly outside, but everything's dripping wet. we were being driven through rough terrain, a mud track cutting through a dense, hilly jungle.

by we, i mean me and my dad.

we're at gunpoint, by half a dozen armed men. the truck feels like an army truck though, olive green with camouflage, huge tires and all. they're talking about crossing the border of an unnamed country, the one we were currently in.

the men knew it's pointless for us to try and escape, so they gave me a gun to play with. one bullet inside the gun.

i point it at our captors, cock and uncock it, point it at dad, just like that.

suddenly, a jeep pulls up behind us, from somewhere outside the path. again, looks like an army vehicle. two people in it, a driver and a commando with a machine gun.

the commando starts firing at the tires. hits one.

i take aim, fire at the driver's head through his windscreen.

the bullet bounces off the glass.

the commando hits another tire. the truck loses control, skids into a hillock, and tips over in slow motion.

dad and i jump off the back, straight into the line of the machine gun fire.

the firing had stopped.

dad and i scrambled off the path and uphill into the trees, tripping through the sludge. our captors were more concerned with their upturned truck than us.

we suddenly heard machine gun chatter again, and a huge boom and a bright flash of light. we couldn't see what just exploded, the jeep or the truck. or both.

i was glad i could open my eyes, get out of bed and go to work on that monday morning.

Monday, August 03, 2009

the post-midnight soup

today, for the first time in atleast 14 months, i came home from work at 3am. that was an hour and a half *after* dad called me at work to say good night, and to tell me that pork legs are waiting for me in the fridge.

so there i was, tired (exhausted, really!) and hungry. with no energy to make pork legs hot, much less eat it (picking out the marrow and the flesh from the bones takes more energy than i usually have on *any* weekday!).

so i decided to try something new:

1 maggi soup cube.
2/3rd mug water in a microwave-safe mug.
1 raw egg.
1 loaded pepper shaker.
1 teaspoon schezuan sauce/soya sauce/green chutney/anything you may fancy.

crumble the soup cube into the water, and microwave it till it's almost boiling hot (took a little over a minute for me). stir it to make sure the cube has dissolved. crack open the egg, and stir it into the mixture. sprinkle pepper to taste, while stirring. stir in a teaspoon of schezuan sauce (i'd have preferred soya sauce, but i grabbed the first bottle i could get my hands on, and there was no looking back)

microwave it again as it's probably cooled a bit with all the stirring (and you want the egg to be fully cooked too) - i stopped at 30 seconds when it was beginning to bubble.

there you go. it's about as substantial as a mug of soup could possibly get. and it took way less time to prepare and consume than it took to type this out.

awrighty then, it's time for sweet dreams. good night!!!

Friday, July 24, 2009

Gursimran Arora suggested you become a fan of Gursimran Kaur Arora...

What's the height of vanity?
A. Creating a fan page for yourself on facebook.
B. Becoming your own fan.
C. Inviting all your friends to become your fan!
From: Facebook
Sent: Friday, 24 July 2009 9:03 PM
To: Kristopher Noronha
Subject: Gursimran Arora suggested you become a fan of Gursimran Kaur Arora..

Gursimran became a fan of Gursimran Kaur Arora on Facebook and suggested you become a fan too.

To see more details and confirm this invitation, follow the link below:

The Facebook Team

Sunday, July 19, 2009

not forgotten...just ignored

i signed into my pc at home after a little over 2 weeks today. and i noticed my last post was on july 3rd.

in case you've been wondering, i've not abandoned this blog. i need to do a bit of research before i can start posting my series of ~14 posts on my recent ladakh trip (which ended yesterday, btw). knowing me, there's two ways this could possibly pan out:

1. i do my research, and start posting. that could probably mean an extended break rfom posting, considering how lazy i am :D

2. i post my regular stuff, and then randomly insert the trip posts. this is probably more manageable...but the ladakh story might lose it's continuity.

either way, there's some interesting stuff coming up, though it'll probably take it's time. keep reading!!!

Thursday, July 02, 2009

kris is not kind

last august, while vacationing in panchgani:
l: kris, you're one of a kind!!!
m: actually, he's one of a.
l: what?
m: yeah, kris is not kind!!!

it still cracks me up!!!

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

tweet tweet

you know you're addicted to twitter when:
you find yourself with a notebook and pen on your hand, and you have the irresistible urge to write down (in 140 chars) what you're currently doing.

ps: i was too freaked out to actually write anything down. i did tweet it when vodafone fixed their gprs a few hours later though :D

Friday, June 26, 2009

Aghosh, here are your highest rated friends!

i was pleasantly surprised to see this mail from my friend aghosh, sitting in my inbox on an early thursday morning :)

From: Compare People
Date: Thu, Jun 25, 2009 at 7:38 AM
Subject: Aghosh, here are your highest rated friends!
To: Aghosh Babu

Highest ranked in each category

* "Who is more useful"
1. Kristopher Noronha
2. Sriram Govind
3. Frincy Clement
view more>>

* "Who is better at science"
1. Kristopher Noronha
2. Anuja Bagul
3. Sriram Govind
view more>>

* "Who is more tech-savvy"
1. Kristopher Noronha
2. Sriram Govind
3. Anuja Bagul
view more>>

* "Who is more generous"
1. Kristopher Noronha
2. Anuja Bagul
3. Renu Vijayachandran
view more>>

* "Who is a happier person"
1. Kristopher Noronha
2. Frincy Clement
3. Darsan Muraleedharan
view more>>

This email was sent by Compare People.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Reminder: Kristopher invited you to join Facebook...

facebook has been sending these mails out on my behalf. i know because i'm on my own address book.

and my address book was accessed by facebook exactly once, when i first signed up two years ago.

i somehow don't remember agreeing to let them use my contact list, much less invite *all* my contacts. and definitely not two years later.

Hi Kris,
The following person recently invited you to be their friend on Facebook:
Kristopher Noronha Kristopher Noronha
569 friends
415 photos

Other people you may know on Facebook:
Aditi Mallya Aditi Mallya
Bokul Bhowmick Bokul Bhowmick
Priyadarshini Goswami Priyadarshini Goswami
Jadavpur University
Aarti Naik Aarti Naik
Shakti Salgaokar Shakti Salgaokar
Martin Fernandes Martin Fernandes

Facebook is a great place to keep in touch with friends, post photos, videos and create events. But first you need to join! Sign up today to create a profile and connect with the people you know.
The Facebook Team
Facebook is free and anyone can join.
Sign Up
This message was intended for ________________. If you do not wish to receive this type of email from Facebook in the future, please click here to unsubscribe.
Facebook's offices are located at 1601 S. California Ave., Palo Alto, CA 94304.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

long live god!!!

elevator conversation, a few days ago:

t: i swear on god i'm gonna start jogging today!
k: please don't say that...god might die tomorrow!!!

Monday, June 08, 2009


i used to pride myself on not being a fanboy. i was the sorta fellow who would accept everything on its merits, and poke fun at those who didn't. ego-shredding sarcasm was reserved for people who defended their fanboyism.

not anymore.

today, during #WWDC, i realised how much of an anti-apple fanboy i've become. as one of my tweets said:

"for all of you offended by my anti-apple tirades: think of me as hitler on hannukah. and thank god nerve gas is illegal. peace out!"

Saturday, June 06, 2009

losing my roots

today morning, a few of my colleagues, in concert with hariyali (an ngo dedicated to environmental conservation and awareness) went to thane for a sapling creation drive.

it was supposed to go on from 8 to 11:30 or so.

at 10 am I was down and out with:

a blister in my palm from the digging

a headache from the sun

a pukish feeling from the smell of manure

and I come from a family that's been traditionally engaged in farming.

ps: post typed with my left thumb on the touchscreen, while standing at the door of a superfast train. a first of sorts!

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

let's trash some houses...maybe even drown some people!

my mom has some very strange philosophies in life. like just now she exhorted me to pray that "it rains heavily, we have floods, and it gets cool"

i asked her why she wanted floods. i wouldn't pray that some poor people lose their homes and belongings, some maybe even their lives, unless i had a very good reason to do so :D

apparently (and i'm not making this up!) mom feels it only gets cool when there are floods.

die, people...die!!! i'm sacrificing you all for the cause of better weather :D

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

conversations i'd rather not

i've noticed one weird thing about women close to me. they love to put me on phone calls with people they enjoy talking to. without warning. ignoring my protests. and strangely, it's always been their boyfriends, moms, brothers. never their hot friends.

(in a movie theater line, waiting to buy our tickets)
k = me
a = my friend
s = a's boyfriend

(a's phone rings)
a: (on the phone) hello, hold on a sec.
a: here, talk.
k: what?
a: talk to him!
k: talk to whom?
a: my boyfriend!!!
k: you want me to talk to your boyfriend?
a: ya!!!
k: i think he'd rather talk to you
a: no! i told him to call now because i want him to talk to you!
k: what?
a: cmon, he's waiting!!!
k: but i don't even know his name!!!
a: his name is s!!! cmon now!!!
k: uhhhh
a: now!!!
k: uhhhh okay
k: (on the phone) hello?
s: hi dude
k: hi...wassup
s: nothing've you been?
k: pretty okay i guess
(making throat cutting gestures to a)
s: so how's things out there?
k: pretty busy. work's hectic, as always.
(making violent throat cutting gestures to a)
k: and how about you?
s: yeah, same here. you know how it is. so which movie?
(trying to stick my tongue out and making a dead expression at a)
a: (loudly) show gimme the phone
s: okay man, i'll talk to you later. you take care!
k: yeah man, you too...bye.
a: (taking phone from me) okay bye, i'll call you later.

i'm saying it out loud now. i don't mind making small talk when i'm introduced to someone, or say if we're sitting down and having a beer together (usually only happens with their boyfriends, i guess :P), but giving me your phone and saying: "here. talk." is about the only thing that can make me lose my (otherwise rock-steady) composure. please don't!!! really.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

you don't read my blog?

it's weird, how some of my best offline friends don't know anything about a huge chunk of my life, despite being in touch and spending a lot of time together, just because they don't read my blog.

i found out last night, when i admitted for the first time, verbally, person-to-person, that i'm a very emotionally dependent person.

and my best friends were shocked to hear it.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

the morning tweets!!!

krist0ph3r: always wondered who's the better gentleman...the one who makes you breakfast in bed at 9am or the one who drinks your juices and FO's @6 :P
krist0ph3r: ...and i'm wondering this while raiding someone's fridge at 6, which means it definitely can't be the former :P
krist0ph3r: - Definitely the stuff "morning afters" are made of!
krist0ph3r: about to take my chances with the traffic cops. any ideas (other than "don't get caught"???) :D
krist0ph3r: reached home without any mishaps...other than a few weird stares from the chaiwalla outside home...guess i still look drunk outta my senses!
krist0ph3r: plugged in my phone's charger and myPod, stripped down to my undies and crashed in my parents' bed before they could stop me. typical kris!!
krist0ph3r: chicane is ossim to listen to while riding, but not when trying to sleep. i need something that isn't mindblowing enough to keep me awake :D
krist0ph3r: a girl's long hair was wrapped around my wrist. i dropped it somewhere on mom's side of the bed. hope she doesn't find it! :D
krist0ph3r: enough of early-morning drunk tweets. i must sleep now. good morning!
krist0ph3r: oh fuck. looks like i recieved a call from home at 1:24am. no wonder parents are fuckin pissed. wonder what i said :D
Harishk: @krist0ph3r LOL!!! would be interesting to hear what they have to say now :)
krist0ph3r: @Harishk they were like "what were you doing last night? why were women screaming on your phone at 1:30 in the morning?" :P
NerdIndian: @krist0ph3r beware - they will find a sidhi sadi ladki and marryt you off now!
krist0ph3r: @NerdIndian no frikkin way man! they want me to be happily married and produce grandkids for them. there's too much at stake to fuck around!

Monday, May 25, 2009

my life or yours?

my parents never had to reprimand me when i've done something wrong. i realize it myself, and usually publicly accept it, apologize, and try to make amends.

the only thing that repeatedly causes problems is when i do something my parents don't want me to.

it's as if they're prefer that i should be like them, rather than live a life that was worth it.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

the vacation that wasn't

i don't know why many people think my life is perfect. but it doesn't matter. i'm about to tell you a story that proves beyond doubt that it isn't.

i went to goa last week. left on tuesday night, with 3 days leave approved, and planning to get back home on monday morning, ready (hopefully) for work.

i went to goa to meet my best friend, who was flying down to india after almost a year, and accompany her on the sidelines as she accompanied her cousin down the aisle as a bridesmaid.

hmm. so story so far: 3 days leave, lovely goa, best friend, wedding. all the hints of perfection in the making.

or not.

i didn't know her parents were there.

her parents didn't know i was gonna be there.

her parents didn't know i was staying with them.

i didn't know her parents *kinda* hate me.

we found this out when i call them from the bus stand, my bags in hand, a 5 minute walk from her house, while she's unreachable and on a plane a few thousand kilometres away.

what followed were 2 days of high drama, interspersed with mindless hours (a day and a night, to be precise) of staring at repeats on the 3 english channels the tv in my hotel room dutifully supplied.

48 hours after i had hopped onto the bus and headed to goa, i got mindfucked to the point i could take it no more.

checked out of the hotel, took the last bus home, paid double of what i should have, anything just to get away from that fuckin hellhole. even went to work on friday morning straight after the 14 hour ride.

i met my friend for precisely 15 minutes in those two days.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

baby, baby!!!

i found myself gazing fondly while the screen faded into brightness, and tinkled to remind me that i just got a new message.

i found myself thinking: what a beauty! how sweet she looks! i am so lucky! i wonder what awesome twist of fate brought her into my life!

and i then reminded myself: it's just a phone.

ps: it's true, this just happened. i had to post it somewhere because i'm so freaked out by the thought!

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

of prayers and attention deficit disorder

i've never been much of a prayer guy. i'd rather have a freewheeling conversation with god the way I would with any of my human friends. but still, today demanded a little extra effort for the sake of my dear uncle alphonse who's in hospital right now and will be operated first thing tomorrow morning. so I decided to say the rosary.

guess what.

i've forgotten all my prayers.

I couldn't believe it myself. these are prayers i've been saying almost ever since I learned to speak! and here I was, making up the words as I went along, sometimes even getting stuck repeating one line cos I couldn't remember the next.

so finally I was about one decade into the rosary. and then I completely forgot I was praying. for like 5 minutes. while my mind wandered to everything from tomorrow's lunch to the way my bike rode today to even ideas to use for my blog (and that's not this post).

two minutes after resuming my prayers I wandered off again.

I finally finished my rosary (gave up after two decades, btw) and decided to blog this right now, so that i'm free tomorrow to blog about the other ideas. started typing.

wandered off within 5 lines of typing.

realised what was happening and decided to force all distractions away.

an hour later, i'm still trying to finish the post.

I wonder if I need medical attention.

Monday, April 27, 2009

the eternal question: like vs. love

i've had quite a few friends who have had their moments of confusion: do I love so-and-so?

while there is no rule in general, I don't recall this question ever giving me much grief. and strangely enough, it's due to my past experiences with "love at first sight".

i've liked plenty of girls, but I knew who I loved even before I had a chance to realise that I liked them.

maybe that's what my confused friends need to learn: like doesn't imply love. not even if it's a whole big lot of "like" :)

either that or I need to fall in love at second sight. now that will truly leave me confused!!!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

my meandering ways

i stop for a chat, or maybe just a hi
a word or two before i go about my way
for though something seems to draw us apart
in this noisy silence, you're always in my heart

(dedicated to all my awesome friends...past and present :))

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

the opposite of congress

after months of growing discontent, and frequent bouts of "something should be done"itis, I finally bit the bullet last saturday. and became the proud new owner of a sony ericsson xperia x1 (or the SEX1 as some people call it).

for those of you who have been eagerly awaiting a review, i'm very sorry to announce that your wait shall be prolonged.

this post is one of introspection.

my phone has finally overtaken:

my first computer's resolution (800 * 480 vs 720 * 350)

my fouth computer's cpu clock speed (528mhz vs 500mhz)

my sixth computer's ram (256mb + some unspecified gfx memory vs just 256mb)

my sixth computer's hard disk/storage (8gb + 256mb vs 8gb)

my seventh computer's internet connection (EDGE vs dial-up)

my seventh computer's network speed (56mbps vs 10mbps)

the only catch? I also paid more for this phone than i've ever paid for a computer (of course, that's only because i've never brought the entire computer at one go - it's always an upgrade)

cheers to progress!!!

ps: post typed on my phone. on blogger's standard posting screen. i'm happy as can be :)

Monday, April 20, 2009

memories in a sea of forgetfulness

first off, i brought a new phone. i'm not gonna speak much about it now, cos there's gonna be a nice full post on that sometime soon.

so after a bit of figuring out, i managed to get my texts transferred from my old phone (yeah, all 7700+ of them!). only catch is that the first time after importing, the phone has to do some sort of reorganization of all these messages. skipping the dry details, the end result is that i had to patiently wait for over an hour (and still counting!) while each text flashed on my screen for a fraction of a second.

i can't think of an adjective to describe the experience.

among the thousands of texts that flashed by, i read ones from a friend who subsequently passed away, texts from a person who i didn't know a few months ago who turned into one of my bset friends, a relationship that was budding at the start of 2008, almost made it, and then died, friends who i had such great times with but don't speak to any more, friends who have mysteriously drifted apart, vacations and road trips being planned and executed, birthday/christmas/easter wishes and the like, and so much more.

i almost relived the past 16 months in an hour.

ps: yeah, i skipped the last 2 months of texts cos i had to type this out. but i guess that's not too bad :). and the post title is inspired by the BT song with the same title :)

Friday, April 17, 2009

google adsense EPIC #WIN!!!

at first glance, i thought it was someone's idea of fun. but then i realised the ad has been carefully selected by google. an epic win of the most epic proportions, if ever there was one.

ps: screenshot taken 20 minutes ago from my google reader. only photoshopping done was to blur my google id :)

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

the (r)evolution will be televised

a few days ago, i was checking linkbacks to my site (yeah yeah, i have these occasional moments of vanity) and i found one on tim ferris' blog. surprised (tim is quite a celeb blogger in his own right), i clicked the page. half expecting it to be some sort of mistake on technorati's part, i was pleasantly surprised to see the linkback was from my own comment (technorati's wizardry at work, i guess).

i read my comment. and was fascinated. i then read the entire post and all the remaining comments. and was fascinated even more.

the post was about ways tim uses twitter and why he doesn't do some things people generally do with twitter.

my comment made me realise how much my use, and interestingly, my approach to networking in general (both online and off-) has changed.

here's my comment:
i guess i’m the exact opposite when it comes to twitter use - although my extreme is also quite practical for me.

i follow everyone i know in real life, on twitter. i also post random things about my day (okay, not “just bit into a muffin…mmmmm!!!”), but things like what i’m doing, what i’m feeling, an observation, a thought that someone might appreciate…it goes on. most of my friends (with a few irritating exceptions) also do the same. that way, i’m always in touch, without actively being in conversation with everyone. if someone’s having a bad day, or if i have something to say that won’t fit 140 chars, i pick up the phone and call/text. i dislike links because they force me to fire up my phone’s browser (or leave whatever’s already on it) to complete the picture of what my friend wanted to say.

twitter is different from phone or text or im, because it’s a sort of selective broadcast. it’s also more timely than a blog. twitter is also not the sort of medium where i’d post something i’d want to recall a month from now. that’s going straight to my blog.

twitter helps me stay in touch with friends who might have otherwise drifted apart due to geographical/time zone distance. compared to the friends who aren’t on it, the contrast is stark enough to be black and white - if a friend lives in another city and isn’t on twitter, it’s almost guaranteed that we’ll be out of touch in a few months :D

and what's changed since then:

most of my then friends have left twitter. their accounts are still there, but they seldom use them. and i mean less than once in 2 months, or worse even.

on the other hand, i've embraced twitter as a platform for meeting new people. i now add people on twitter and if i meet them and they turn out to be the sort of people i want to associate with, we swap numbers, facebook accounts and the works.

and i now use facebook to keep in touch, almost the same way as i used to use twitter back then.

strange but true. and a full circle in (online) social media.

ps: title inspired by "the revolution" by bt. one of my favourites!!!

Sunday, April 12, 2009

happy easter!

lent just got over, and it's (finally!) easter today. this year was a different one for me, as i decided to give up alcohol for the last 42 days. it was pretty hard at first, but i finally got used to mocktails and juices (and i love fruits anyway).

so finally, lent is over. easter started with a good tipple, more than just good in fact.

but you know what, it's not that big a deal. it wasn't even worth it. because abstinence hasn't brought me any closer to god.

i need to start earnestly praying again instead.

happy easter, everyone!!!

Thursday, April 09, 2009

white is black...sorry, back

i remember last july, when i was so bored that i decided to finally eschew one of my long-standing design principles, and go for a black background for this blog.

several months later, i've decided to go back to my roots. this time it was one of the free templates blogger featured on their layout screen, but not without a fair bit of tweaking. it'll be fun if you could spot the original too :D

if you see this in a reader,
step over to my blog for a while.
you can leave with a comment,
or perhaps even a smile :)

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

talk like an egyptian... :D

winnie the poohi recently tagged everyone to chat with a certain bot and post it.

i decided to dig up something from my own chat archives instead :P

P: hey dude u there?
K: no
P: :)
K: this is kris' coomputer
P: ohh ok
K: how can i help you?
P: but who is there on Kris' computer?
K: right now, nobody
P: I dont believe
K: i can answer some of your questions.
P: What is my tomorrows horoscope?
K: that's not a question i can asnwer.
P: will india win test series tomorrow
K: that's not a question i can asnwer.
P: what no. will be there in tommorows maharashtra rajya lottery
K: that's not a question i can asnwer either.
P: ok
P: 2+ 3 = ?
K: 5
P: ok
P: 5 / 0 =?
K: not defined.
P: by whom?
K: i don't know the answer to that question.
P: what all you know?
K: i've been programmed not to answer that question.
P: who programmed you?
K: he calls himself kris.
P: hu kris?
K: i'm sorry, i don't understand that question.
P: were is kris?
K: he is at home.
P: ok I got u kris
K: i'm sorry, i don't understand you.
P: can you say bye?
K: yes, if you ask me to.
P: ok say bye
K: bye
P: i cant here you, say loudly
K: loudly
P: hahahaha
K: i'm not very sure of what you're asking me to do.
P: that was cool
K: no it wasn't.
P: why?
K: i'm not aware that it is cool.
K: it could be.
P: OK do u understand PJs?
K: i have limited understanding.
P: Do u know marathi?
K: no.
P: Do u know sachin tendulkar?
K: no.
P: do u know kris?
K: yes.
P: who is that?
K: he programmed me.
P: ok do you know, answer to life, the universe and everything ?
K: no, i don't know that.
P: I know that, it is 42
P: can you google anything?
K: i'm not allowed to
K: is the answer a fact or your opinion?
P: I dont know, google knows that
K: i'm sorry, i don't understand.
P: how come u answered 2 times to this question
K: i answered your previous question last.
K: you were asking me questions too quickly for me to answer.
P: I dont think so it is artificial intelligence
P: this is human intelligence
K: ok
P: ok anyways
P: I have some work to do now
K: ok
P: it was nice to meeting you
P: what is your name
P: ?
K: it was nice meeting you too, Prasad
K: i'm kris' computer
P: ohhh, please tell him to give you a better name
K: ok, i will.
P: and say hi to him from myside
P: bye
P: goodnight
K: is myside a person?
K: bye
K: goodnight
P: hey, bye the way do u sleep?
K: no.
K: but i stop working when someone is using the computer,
P: ok so then have a nice time
K: thank you. you have a nice time too.

(chat silence for a few minutes)
K: :D
P: :)
P: it was a nice conversation
K: how's you man!!!
K: yeah...good fun
K: i was prepared to answer more questions
P: hahaha, I was not prepared to ask more

Monday, April 06, 2009

the triumph of social media (or do you want a girlfriend?)

Do you have a girlfriend?

Stop looking and find a sexy girlfriend at Lexamore.NL. Join them now free!

Yesh, based on my usage patterns, that's what facebook thinks i want. A (cute) Norwegian girlfriend. spot on!

ps: translation via google, but i guess i should start learning a bit of dutch if i wanna take up this incredible offer :P

Sunday, April 05, 2009

Thursday, April 02, 2009


disclaimer: adult theme/content. read at your own risk.
this post will not seem funny at all unless your read my previous post and found it funny too.

the two "a"s from both posts are different women, whose names coincidentally both begin with a.

k: surfing porn on my phone got boring in 5 minutes flat...wonder if my attention span is fucked or the medium isn't mature enough :D
a: height of bein a this
k: it was some stupid snake and kid video. what's so despo about that?
a: u r really a joke.u watchin porn on phone is bein despo
k: alright, if you insist. so where am i supposed to watch porn then?
a: on ur deskstop
k: but my desktop is in the hall with bright lights and all! i prefer watching porn in the dark. plus i was traveling at the time.
a: hahahaha wht u hmmmm while travellin :P
k: oh cmon. i was bored and nothing interesting was happening on twitter. plus it was dark :D
a: horh

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

"horh" is the sound of a startled grunt

k: hello
a: hi
k: how con i piss you off today?
a: hahaha
a: it wudnt so easy to piss me off today i think
a: m in a nicish mood today
k: horh.

btw, i was tying to write haha. my handwriting sucks, as does my phone's deciphering of it. and i laughed so hard for the next 5 minutes that i cried. :D

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

i love you too

the secret of success is not to do what you love, but to love what you do.
--kris, but probably someone before him too

Monday, March 30, 2009

keep your cards close

be selective about who you trust. don't be selective about what you trust them with.
--kris, to himself, 15 minutes ago

Sunday, March 29, 2009

jealousy...hatred...and a bit of grave-spitting

i make friends rather easily, but i'm a lot more careful when it comes to letting them into my inner circle. and once they're in, there's no easy getting out.

with one exception.

i had a friend. a pretty good one at that. she was fun, she was nice. we hung out a little, spent a lot of time online, got to know each other pretty well.

then, something happened.

i don't know whether it would be right to blame her confusing behaviour, or my stupid reaction to it. either way, things didn't work out...over something so petty, i'm too embarrassed to admit it in public.

shortly after, we weren't friends anymore.

she met a few people through me. some of them have gone on to become her rather pally with her too. and guess what. i just noticed i'm now jealous of them. not because they're her friends, but because they can handle her behaviour while i couldn't.

i had a recent dream. in that dream i died. she came to my funeral to spit on my grave. in that dream, she was the only person on earth who hated.

maybe it's because deep down, i hate myself because of the way i treated her.

Friday, March 27, 2009

5 years at xaviers: the short story

In response to my friend Fiona's appeal to know all her friends' St. Xaviers College stories.

This is most definitely the sanitized version, with all the unimportant details filtered out too :D Here goes:

I took admission in Xaviers' Junior College because my cousin went there 2 years before and recommended it...and the only other colleges i knew of were KC and Wilson's. and that was because I asked my maths and science tuition teacher what to do next on the day of my SSC results. Xaviers was the first place i applied at. I didn't bother applying at KC because i was guaranteed a seat in Wilson's. I was the last person taken in on the second list in 1999. There was no third list. So i officially had the lowest marks in Xaviers Science in 1999 :)

Apprehensions: none. Family concerns: none. Basically i was clueless, and God or fate or whatever guided me into Xaviers.

In the last part of the orientation, there was a 15 minute talk by the person who ran the computer center. Since I was interested in computers, my parents enrolled me into the computer course. This was probably one of the biggest things to influence my future life.

In my 12th Std, my computer professor made such a good impression on me that he became my role model. He was working and studying at the time. He was studying in VJTI, doing his MCA. After he taught me programming, i knew this was my career.

I wanted to study engineering, or atleast computer science after my HSC. unfortunately, that was the year engineering admissions were delayed, so all the potential engineers took computer science in the meantime. I didn't get Computer Science in any of the half dozen colleges I applied at, and so stuck around in Xaviers.

I took maths, stats and physics, because I didn't like chemistry and two of my good friends were in their TYBsc Maths and Physics, and i couldn't make up my mind about whose recommendation to take. After a week of physics, i realised I couldn't possibly take it, and hence switched to Economics.

I applied for a volunteer at Malhar because a good friend of mine wanted company. He filled out his and my form with Texxx (cos they're cool) and Souvenirs (cos you might get to flick stuff). He left the 3rd space blank in mine. I wrote Comps because i had no clue about anything else. He wrote Raga. We both didn't get selected in Texxx, and Souvenirs "forgot" to call us for our interviews. I was pushed into the comps room, and from that moment there was no turning back. This was the second biggest turning point in my 5 years at Xaviers. After this, i didn't care about engineering or anything else. I made some of my best friends in Xaviers, and they're my best friends till this day, just as i'm sure I am theirs too.

I finally spent a total of 5 eventful years at Xaviers, and then went on to do my MCA from VJTI just like my teacher-cum role model.

Okay, that wasn't very short. I guess it will be a rather boring read for anyone other than myself. Rest assured, that's only because this is the sanitized version :P

Thursday, March 26, 2009

hit the brakes, boy!!!

you know you're going too fast when you have nothing to look forward to and everything to look back at.

--kris, today

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

mars is always the uglier planet

women consider looks as an addition to intelligence.
men consider it as a possible substitute.
if they don't need it, they don't want it.

--kris, minutes ago, in a rare moment of wisdom

Sunday, March 08, 2009


today is my mindless day. few minutes ago:

t: i get the point.
k: there wasn't a point!!!
t: i got it anyway.
k: stop stealing my points...i wasn't gonna give you any!!!

n: i am happy with my madness
k: i am mad with my happiness

s: Why do I always have to mis-read Chloe as Chole? :-/
k: because you'd rather eat chloe ;)
s: I'm concerned about my stomach, man. Cant least mot on Womans Day ;)
k: haha if you're eating chloe she's not supposed to reach your stomach...women's day or not ;)

half an hour ago, my friend and i practiced riding my bike together. i was on the brake/clutch/steering/gear, he was on the accelerator. i was also on the phone, but that's another story. :D

Friday, March 06, 2009

moBlog from blogger's site

after a few years of moBlogging (first via mms and then via email) i've finally decided to recheck my assumptions.

if this post sees the light of day, it means:

i can now moBlog directly from

i can tag posts while posting

i can use html, formatting, the works!

i can put my fav smileys in :)

i can create links!

i can edit posts (yesh, after ages!!! missed this one the most!)

and probably a lot more!

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Do you want to exit? Do you!!!

I don't get why programs give "ok" and "cancel" as answers to "are you sure you want to exit?" i suggest:

are you sure you want to exit?

"that's what i said, nithead!"
"sorry, just messing with you!"

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

and i also need...another tag!!!

my funniest tag in ages. here's what you do:

google your first name with *needs* in quotes, like this.

fill in the first 10 matching sentences. skip duplicates, for more fun.

here goes:

  • Kristopher needs criteques for work.

  • Kristopher Needs A Man Of His Own. (fuck!!! damnit!!! wtf!!!)

  • Kristopher needs a family who understands grief and loss and adoption issues and is open to ongoing counseling.

  • What Kristopher needs now. Sponsors.

  • Kristopher needs to learn to use speech marks appropriately; he needs to continue to learn phonic patterns and letter strings; he needs to work to improve his handwriting, with particular emphasis on the taller letters.

  • I never once heard him say anything about Kristopher's needs.

  • After Ms. Kanga, the principal discovers that Kristopher is worried about his parents divorce, she says she knows what Kristopher needs...Rainbows.

  • Kristopher needs to get shit done.

  • Kristopher's 13, and Kristopher needs a liver.

  • But more advice is the last thing Kristopher needs - all he needs is focus on getting the system back online.

ps: i'm tagging a few people on facebook. if you feel tagged enough, you don't need my prodding though. just go and do it!!!

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

back to speed

i have barely blogged for almost a month now. here's what's been happening in the meantime:

valentine's day

went to the kala ghoda art festival with a good friend, meet a few tweeters out there, then headed to a bar near shivaji park and drank till midnight or so. hung out in the park till 4am, then met another friend and biked to lonavla. trekked a bit too. quite an awesome 24 hours, in all...made even awesomer by the fact that no love was involved!!! ;)

sandhan valley

had an amazing 2 day trek (which also spilled into the first night - my first night rappelling stint!!!) with an overnight camp in the valley. ended with a swim in a dam. my hardest and longest (and hence, best) trek so far. too lazy to post any photos yet. will probably do a double feature sometime next week.

twitter addiction

i'm officially a twitter addict now. mainly thanks to pocketTwit, which works on my phone like a charm. it also drains my phone's battery like mad, so i'm usually offline and unreachable within 6 hours of leaving from home. combined with my poor memory and absentmindedness when it comes to charging my phone, it typically comes down to 3 hours. still, that's a small price to pay for having my life documented for posterity (i hope) on twitter.

bike troubles

i busted a tire, busted a spark plug, busted the battery, busted the disc brakes. all in one month. thankfully they're all fixed now...except for the battery :)

ipod troubles

my 2-month-old ipod reboots constantly. initially it was due to corrupted data (winamp was screwing it up). switched to itunes, and the problem disappeared for 2 weeks. it's back with a vengeance now. and it's pissing me off!!!

drying out

i have quit alcohol for lent. for the first time in my life. i don't know why and i don't even know how...but now that i've embarked upon it, i'm gonna see it through. i'll be quite drunk on easter though :P

the walkathon

went for a company-organised walkathon in aid of concern india last weekend. walked 7km without breaking into a sweat. (okay, the sweat was due to the sun, not the walking :D). photos to come later. could i actually be getting healthy? i wonder!

hmmm, guess there's nothing more to mention. i have a few secret updates too, but they're gonna be kept off the blog :P

Monday, February 23, 2009

in and out of love

it's funny how a feeling can creep up on you when you're least expecting it, take control of your life, turn your mundane existence into a topsy-turvy roller coaster, and then one day just leave you as suddenly and mysteriously as it appeared.

ps: post title inspired by "in and out of love" by armin van buuren, sung by sharon van adel. the post on the other hand is completely inspired by my life.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

play the game...try and beat my 72!!!

Level 1:

(X) Smoked A Cigarette
(X) Smoked A Cigar
( ) Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
(X) Drank Alcohol


Level 2
(X) Are / Been In Love
(X) Been Dumped
(X) Shoplifted
( ) Been Fired
(X) Been In A Fist Fight


Level 3
( ) Had A Crush On An Older Person
( ) Skipped School
( ) Slept With A Co-worker
(X) Seen Someone / Something Die


Level 4
(X) Had / Have A Crush On One Of Your Facebook Friends
( ) Been To Paris
( ) Been To Spain
(X) Been On A Plane
(X) Thrown Up From Drinking

SO FAR: 11

Level 5
( ) Eaten Sushi
( ) Been Snowboarding
(X) Met Someone BECAUSE Of Facebook
(X) Been in a Mosh Pit

SO FAR: 13

Level 6
( ) Been In An Abusive Relationship
(X) Taken Pain Killers
(X) Love/loved Someone Who You Cant Have
(X) Laid On Your Back And Watched Cloud Shapes Go By
( ) Made A Snow Angel

SO FAR: 16

Level 7
( ) Had A Tea Party
( ) Flown A Kite
(X) Built A Sand Castle
( ) Gone mudding (offroading)
(X) Played Dress Up

SO FAR: 18

Level 8
(X) Jumped Into A Pile Of Leaves
( ) Gone Sledging
(X) Cheated While Playing A Game
(X) Been Lonely
(X) Fallen Asleep At Work / School

SO FAR: 22

Level 9
(X) Watched The Sun Set
( ) Felt An Earthquake
( ) Killed A Snake

SO FAR: 23

Level 10
(X) Been Tickled
( ) Been Robbed / Vandalized
( ) Been cheated on
(X) Been Misunderstood

SO FAR: 25

Level 11
(X) Won A Contest
( ) Been Suspended From School
(X) Had Detention
(X) Been In A Car / Motorcycle Accident

SO FAR: 28

Level 12
(X) Had / Have Braces
(X) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(X) Danced in the moonlight

SO FAR: 31

Level 13
(X) Hated The Way You Look
(X) Witnessed A Crime
( ) Pole Danced
(X) Questioned Your Heart
(X) Been obsessed with post-it-notes

SO FAR: 35

Level 14
(X) Squished Barefoot Through The Mud
(X) Been Lost
( ) Been To The Opposite Side Of The World
( ) Swam In The Ocean
(X) Felt Like You Were Dying

SO FAR: 38

Level 15
(X) Cried Yourself To Sleep
(X) Played Cops And Robbers
( ) Recently Colored With Crayons / Colored Pencils / Markers
(X) Sang Karaoke
(X) Paid For A Meal With Only Coins

SO FAR: 42

Level 16
(X) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't
(X) Made Prank Phone Calls
(X) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose
( ) Kissed In The Rain

SO FAR: 45

Level 17
(X) Written A Letter To Santa Claus
(X) Watched The Sun Set/ sun rise With Someone You Care/Cared About
(X) Blown Bubbles
(X) Made A Bonfire On The Beach or anywhere

SO FAR: 49

Level 18
( ) Crashed A Party
( ) Have Travelled More Than 5 Days With A Car Full Of People
( ) Gone Rollerskating / Blading
(X) Had A Wish Come True
( ) Been Humped By A Monkey

SO FAR: 50

Level 19
( ) Worn Pearls
( ) Jumped Off A Bridge
( ) Screamed "Penis" or "Vagina"
( ) Swam With Dolphins.

SO FAR: 51

Level 20
( ) Got Your Tongue Stuck To A Pole/Freezer/ice Cube
( ) Kissed A Fish
(X) Worn The Opposite Sex's Clothes
( ) Sat On A Roof Top

SO FAR: 51

Level 21
(X) Screamed At The Top Of Your Lungs
( ) Done / ATTEMPTED A One-Handed Cartwheel
(X) Talked On The Phone For More Than 4 Hours
(X) Recently stayed Up for a while talking to someone you care about

SO FAR: 54

Level 22
( ) Picked And Ate An Apple Right Off The Tree
(X) Climbed A Tree
( ) Had/Been In A Tree House
(X) Been scared To Watch Scary Movies Alone

SO FAR: 56

Level 23
( ) Believed In Ghosts
( ) Have had More Then 30 Pairs Of Shoes
( ) Gone Streaking
( ) Visited Jail

SO FAR: 56

Level 24
( ) Played Chicken
( ) Been Pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(X) Been Told You're Hot By A Complete Stranger
(X) Broken A Bone
(X) Been Easily Amused

SO FAR: 59

Level 25
( ) Caught A Fish Then Ate It Later
( ) Made A Porn Video/got asked to make one
(X) Caught A Butterfly
(X) Laughed So Hard You Cried
( ) Cried So Hard You Laughed

SO FAR: 61

Level 26
( ) Mooned/Flashed Someone
( ) Had Someone Moon/Flash You
(X) Cheated On A Test
(X) Forgotten Someone's Name
( ) French Braided Someones Hair
(X) Gone Skinny Dipping
(X) Been Kicked Out Of Your House
( ) Tried to hurt yourself

SO FAR: 65

Level 27
(X) Rode A Roller Coaster
( ) Went Scuba-Diving/Snorkeling
(X) Had A Cavity
( ) Black-Mailed Someone
( ) Been Black Mailed

SO FAR: 67

Level 28
(X) Been Used
(X) Fell Going Up The Stairs
( ) Licked A Cat
( ) Bitten Someone
(X) Licked Someone

SO FAR: 70

Level 29
( ) Been shot at/or at gunpoint
( ) Had sex in the rain
( ) Flattened someones tires
(X) Rode your bike/Driven your car until the fuel light came on
(X) Got five pounds or less worth of fuel

My score: 72 out of 132. Not impressive, but not bad either :)

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

questions...and answers

much as i'm indifferent to these tags, i'm also bored and searching for excuses to be late for work. so here i go again :P

first, the rules:
post this list on your facebook Notes/blog replacing my answers with yours.
Tag 25 people to do the same thing.

If I tagged YOU, it's because I want to know more about YOU!
    Nope. My middle name is my grandfather's though.

    Don't remember. Years ago.

    My handwriting changes depending on my mood. I like my happy/energetic handwriting :)

    Ahhh there are too many to choose from!!! but mom's food is always up there with the rest of 'em.

    Nope, gladly.

    Yeah, of course. I make friends easily.

    Occasionally. most people don't get it...which means either i suck or they do.

    Yeah, last time i checked :D

    Always wanted to. just waiting for the opportunity.

    I'm not sure. definitely not oats and stuff. can't stand that shit!!!

    Nope. my shoes remain tied or untied for as long as i see fit (and with no connection to whether i'm wearing them or not)

    Anything fruity, also dark chocolatey, also nutty. I love ice cream :P

    How comfortable they are with me.

  14. RED OR PINK?
    Definitely red.

    My laziness.


    Of course...why else would i tag you??!!!

    Pants: brown. Shoes: none (just got out of bed :P)

  19. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? out of bed because iPod ran out of charge. The last song was superfabulous by BT. Been listening to it all night while i slept :D

    Green. The brightest green. But i'd want to change colours 5 minutes later too :D

    Good food cooking. Actually, good food. Period.

    Saurabh. He's coming to bbay tomorrow!!!

    Yeah, she's kool. I'd like to know her better though :)

    Not into sports at all.

    Ummm...i don't have hair. unless you're talking about my beard :D

  26. EYE COLOR?
    Dark brown.


    Too many to name. Total foodie. Will eat almost anything when hungry. Will eat anything other than vegetables when i'm not. :P

    Both...depends on the company. Don't quite like watching movies alone though.

and now i tag everyone who reads this, since i'm too lazy to type out 25 names here. yesh, i'm talking to you!!!

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