Monday, March 19, 2018

incomplete records

the other day, i was reading Darwin's book "on the origin of species", which is where he postulated his theory of evolution. one of the chapters was specifically about why fossil records are so incomplete. he put forward some very sensible arguments, one of which was: when evolution is progressing rapidly, it happens in the very same environment where preservation is unlikely.

and that reminded me of the last few months.

things have been changing rapidly, under the surface. evidence of these changes are probably only buried in verbal conversations which we have no record of, and a few chats which will be quickly buried in my history. and i know that in a short period, they will all be rapidly forgotten. so anyway, this post is a reminder of sorts. a reminder that thanks have changed, and that things will change more. and once the phase of "rapid change" is over, i'll be back to recording it as usual :)

Friday, January 12, 2018

6 years of mile-munching

carly turned 6 last week. a little battered from the last ride, but still running enthusiastically.

6 years isn't a very long time for most bikes, but it is for this one. 124k km on the odo (and around 3k km not on the odo... yes, it happens). before carly, i used to consider panvel/vasai as my "home stretch". now, my "home stretch" is a 200-odd km radius from home. i have my favourite restaurants, stops and even fuel pumps on each highway, in each direction, for each time of day. i even remember my "nap points" and the associated rides.

riding back home from goa last weekend, i was thinking about how my riding style has changed over the years. i remember my first ride to goa, with barely over 1000 km on the odo. back in those early days, it was all about pushing myself, seeing how far i could ride non-stop, how quickly i could reach my destination. now, it's all about relaxing, having fun, enjoying some good food, taking in sights on the way while sticking to a schedule when required.

and of course, now that i'm riding with my wife, i enjoy showing off the best experiences i've gleaned over the years. like sunset at amboli ghat, the last hairpin bend at gaganbawda, the pre-dawn fog on nh17, the road through yellapur, maravanthe beach, and the likes.

still, it feels like i'm slipping into my comfort zone. after over 20 mumbai-goa rides, they now feel repetitive. the only big changes over the years are that the highways get worse, traffic gets worse, and the drivers get more rash and aggressive.

still, there's a lot to explore, and making it a point to ride to new places or try new routes keeps things fun.

but finally... the most important thing is to "just ride!"

Saturday, December 23, 2017

a year of love

it's been a year. time has flown. like BC and AD, our lives feel like they've been divided into two different eras. we started off fresh and eager, figuring a lot of things as we went along. we've been surprisingly good at making things work, and though we still have stuff left to work out (who doesn't?!), there's a sense of satisfaction (and daresay, pride!) when we look back.

the term that best describes the more technical bits of this year would be "adulting". but it hasn't just been about responsibilities and chores and whatnot. we've found our space together. we can safely say that we've built our physical and emotional nest. happy anniversary to us!

Wednesday, December 06, 2017

stressed out

recently, a talk organized in office by a cardiologist about prevention of heart disease and other related health issues highlighted the top three causes:

1. smoking
2. stress
3. sleeplessness

now, I've got (1) covered. and I do get 7 hours of sleep daily, even though it sometimes feels like it's not enough (complicated enough to deserve a blog post of its own, lol). so, action item number two: cut down on stress. Initial attempts have been rather abortive, in the sense that trying to be stress free makes me do things that indirectly contribute to stress itself. but gradually I've been able to regain control and kinda reduce my "hidden" and obvious stress levels.

and then, one day, I realized stress does have its ways of finding you:

I was on a bike trip with mayur. he had his bullet, rather heavily modified, and I had my karizma. it was dark, and we were on a highway, in a traffic jam. he asked me if I wanted to try his bike. I decided to give it a shot. the first thing was that, he had to kick start the karizma as its battery was at the end of its life. when I sat on his bullet, I realized the seat was deceptively plush. I literally sank into the seat. it felt good! the traffic opened up, and I revved it, leaving him and the jam behind. it was about sunrise by then, and in a few minutes the sun was out and it was bright. we reached the point where we had to turn off the highway into a village, to do some last minute purchases (I guess we were planning to go camping or something). I stopped there for him to catch up, we swapped bikes, and divided shopping responsibilities and split up. I went to a shop which was on the first floor of a rather ramshackle building. I thought it was rather unlikely that someone would make away with my bike (which was rather troublesome to start with the dead battery!), so I left the key inside, out of sheer laziness. I took just a minute to complete my purchases,but as I turned the corner of the stairs on my way out I saw my bike being ridden away by a balding middle aged helmetless man.

I chased the bike on foot as quickly as I could, but the village traffic and pedestrians were slowing me down as much as they were slowing him, and I couldn't catch up with him despite being able to keep him within sight.

a few minutes of chasing him later, my heart was pounding, and he got out traffic. as I turned the corner he did, running as quickly as I could, my wife woke me up.

and I realized it was a dream.

she asked me if everything was okay.

I insisted it was, and shut my eyes, to have the dream resume itself.

I was running down a straight village road, with greenery on both sides, interspersed with houses without courtyards, that opened directly onto the road.

and then I ran past some sort of movement on my right, and spotted the thief and my bike. he was on a raised wooden platform with the bike, facing away from the road, and the platform somehow led to a raised path that led into the woods behind. I yelled "stop, thief!", but he didn't. an aged lady sitting at the edge of the platform and facing the road, asked me what happened. I told her he was stealing my bike. she insisted that it wasn't possible, because the guy was her son. I realized she wouldn't be any help, and continued shouting.

luckily for me, an army truck passed by, and a few armed commandos stopped to ask me what happened. they asked me to prove the bike was mine by showing them my papers. I told them I would, but they should first catch the thief as he was quickly getting away, and was already out of sight, only marked by leaves moving where he had disturbed the foliage when escaping. the commandos quickly fanned out, while a couple of them inquired with the old lady where he lived.

she pointed to the house right next door.

and that's when I woke up.

my heart was still racing.

my wife asked me what happened.

I told her someone stole my bike and the army was trying to get it back.

she said: no wonder. you were twitching violently in your sleep!

and that's when I realized, there's no escaping stress!

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

phone-y dreams

I had some strange phone dreams last night.

in my dream, my oneplus one (which has stopped working in real life) started working by accident. it started working when I disassembled and reassembled it, and accidentally used the battery and SIM tray of a oneplus two of my friend (who was also disassembling and reassembling his phone). his phone stopped working, and he assumed it was because he reassembled it wrong... and i realized what had happened only after he left, because my sim was loose in the tray. he left his phone behind as well, so I couldn't return the parts. I assumed he didn't care and continued to use it.

I also had another phone, one which defies explanation: it was called an elephant phone, and it was shaped like a miniaturized elephant. it stood on its 4 legs, and was about half a foot in length and height. i liked the phone because it supported dual sim + a memory card. these were under a hinged panel in its back. I was expecting superlative battery life due to its size, but apparently the battery life was on par with other normal phones. strangely though, the elephant phone had no visible earpiece or speaker... or screen! it was a toy elephant with two sim cards and a memory card slot. I didn't know the manufacturer's name, and someone told me it's a Nokia. I remember being confused in the dream about Nokia creating Android phones (but nowhere did the phone give any clue to suggest that it runs Android)

Sunday, November 12, 2017

why do i blog?

i'm not sure if i've blogged about this before, and honestly, at this moment, i don't really care.

i have forgotten my blog exists. i have forgotten that you, my dear reader, exists.

i have forgotten that if there's something i need to throw out there, make available to the world without any external validation, i have a place to do it.

sometimes, it feels like the self is a mirror. the more you look inside, the more you see outside. and i've stopped looking inside.

i don't know why, but i know that i've stopped.

it's hard to explain the metaphysical phenomenon where the self expands, so that something that used to be outside myself, can now look at me, and see the outside through the mirror... thus rendering the act of what used to be myself looking inside, redundant.

the phenomenon where i don't feel the need to ask myself questions, because someone else is doing the asking for me.

as i think about it, strange diagrams come to mind.

and i'm happy with these diagrams. i'm happy with this real representation of the abstract projection of my reality.

so happy that i don't even feel the need to draw these diagrams and stick them here, even though i know the images in my mind will fade before i even fall asleep, and this blog post will look like gibberish when i wake tomorrow.

and that leads me the answer to why i don't blog anymore.

i started off blogging for others. i then moved to blogging to myself.

but this post isn't even for myself. it's for my present. the intersection of the self and the current moment. something which will not exist at the time anyone (myself included) is reading this.

so... why even blog?

Monday, November 06, 2017

springing back

just woke up from a dream which was so continuity-defying that I can't even string it properly together into a coherent story. epic scene in the dream:

squashing one dimension of spacetime so that my hand could reach through rickshaws in a traffic jam.

was so startled by the experience that I woke up immediately, and I felt the universe getting back into its usual shape in the instant that I was opening my eyes. the feeling of springing back into shape still lingers.

incomplete records

the other day, i was reading Darwin's book "on the origin of species", which is where he postulated his theory of evolution. o...