Sunday, July 25, 2010

A night well spent

You know what's the best and worst thing about spending the evening with someone?

realizing you were so happy and yet that you weren't right.

it's sad but true. Sometimes things just aren't right.

Things aren't right. Cos it didn't feel like they were. Your world and mine. And a fine line in between. A line that shall stay. Because that's what we are and will be.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

it's not okay.

i should stop saying it's okay when it's not okay. because right now i'm pissed with myself when i should be pissed with someone else.

Friday, July 23, 2010

midas' touch

there's been a sad twist to the last 3 years of my life.

every time i get close to a friend from office, he or she either leaves the city or the country.

it's been four friends and counting. two more to join them next month.

i'm very sad. and almost scared now.

i want my friends to be happy, but i don't want any more to go away.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

my coolest dream (so far)

there are some standard stories from my life that i love to tell all my friends, because i think they're so awesome.

since the whole inception hype is doing the rounds, and since one of my favourite stories is (surprise, surprise!) a dream, i shall save it here for posterity :)

so this happened back in early 2004. my final year college exams were on. since my exams were late in the afternoon (3:30pm to be precise), i used to stay up studying all night, and sleep from 6am till noon or so, and then leave straight for my exams.

one of those days (i forgot which paper it was, but me being a maths major it definitely was maths :D), i overslept. when i woke up, it was bright and sunny outside, and the light was entering the room (which suggests it's way past noon - my room faces west).

i sleep in such a place, that if i look upwards while lying in bed, i can see the clock upside down.

i looked at the clock. it said 2:30pm.

college is an hour and a half long commute away.

i jumped up, freaking out.

and then dad said that it's just 10:30am, and i was looking at the clock upside down.

so i went back to sleep.

and as i closed my eyes, i realized it was a dream.

so i opened my eyes again.

the sun was still shining into the room.

i looked at the clock.

it said 2:30pm.

i freaked out, jumped out of the bed. dad was there.

he said it's still 10:30am.

i realized i was still dreaming.

i opened my eyes again.

this time, i just sat up and looked at the clock instead of looking at it upside down.

it was 10:30am.

dad wasn't there.

i called out to him and asked how many times i woke up before this.

he said: none.

i didn't dare go back to sleep again that day.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

302?

a study reveals that 302 is the perfect number of facebook friends to have.

I'd find it hard to keep my facebook friend list down to even 500. it's currently at 750 and still going up. i'm not sure if i could be classified as a "needy" person, but i'm the sorta guy who's always interested in people. i find people fascinating. i find the things they do fascinating. i don't really "keep in touch" with a subset of my facebook friends. i just reed/see whatever pops up on my home page when i log in.

each of those 750 people are someone i either know in real life, or want to meet in real life.

i have around 20 close friends at any point of time in my life. 20 may seem like a large number, but most of them fall under 3 groups of friends who each hang out together. but each of my close friends that i'm no longer in touch with is still my friend, because i know them well, i trust them, and i enjoy being with them (except that i can't because i have to divide my time, and i can't handle any more friends). so i have around 100 friends who fall in this category. they're friends who i'm not in touch with, but at any time i could start spending more time with them and they'd be my close friend again.

ps: post started off as a comment here

Monday, July 19, 2010

the ghost

i've had strange dreams recently. i dreamed about my ex, a couple of hours before she called to say she was back in india after 3 years (and in fact, living 3 blocks away).

don't ask me what happened in that dream though ;)

anyway, a couple of days before that, i had a dream that actually changed the way i think about spirits.

i dreamed of my friend jeetu, who expired a couple of years ago (down to the month in fact! don't remember the date).

in the dream, jeetu, another friend jayasree (not sure how she landed there...she doesn't know any of the people in the dream other than me!) and me were walking together.

we were walking in a deserted old stone building (the stones were light grey, i remember), with wide corridors and lots of space, but no other people in sight. probably like a college when everyone is on vacation. it was late afternoon, judging by the shadows.

me and jeetu with our arms around each other's shoulders, the way we used to.

talking, joking, laughing.

till another friend, deepesh saw us.

he was scared.

he shook his head to say "get out of there", but not making a sound, so that jeetu didn't see him.

and then ran into a church.

that's when i realized i was walking with a ghost.

and i was suddenly afraid.

jayasree and me ran into the church too, and jeetu just stood outside, not protesting at all, as if he expected it.

and then i woke up.

and thought to myself, if jeetu's spirit visited me, i would sit with him and talk to him and not run away.

the ghost of a dear friend is still a dear friend.

miss you, jeetu.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Appearances are deceptive

I have a friend who I used to always have a nagging concern about. it always felt like he was living close to the edge, and if things went wayward, he may just fall off the cliff of life, with no rescue possible.

Till one drunken heart-to-heart conversation a few months later, when I realized that he wasn't near the edge at all.

And that I am the one living precariously. Not physically as much as mentally. Because I'm still not completely sure of the reason why I should live.

Friday, July 02, 2010

My mechanic's toDo

My mechanic has his job cut out this weekend:

Replace rear right signal light
Replace starter to gearbox cog
Replace rear brake hub
Fix gear pedal firmly
Fix fairing firmly, add damping
Straighten brake pedal
Make clutch smoother
Un jam idling screw
Un jam and oil accelerator cable
Top up engine oil
Fix rear brake to light connection
Fix starter to relay connection
Fix clutch sensor for starter
Laminate & stitch seat cover
Attach rain cover on tank

I hope I haven't missed anything from the list. And hope he doesn't either!



ps: this post is here because i wanted to send it somewhere (anywhere!), so that it gets saved in my gmail's sent folder. and the only email address i could think of was my blog's!

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