another friend passed away. unexpected and untimely.
it doesn't really hit me as much as it used to, 10 years or so ago.
it's just another reminder that my own life will end - sooner or later.
and i don't want it to end with regrets.
so... what do i want it to end with?
it seems to me that there are two measures of our lives - hedonistic and altruistic.
how much value do we bring to ourselves, and how much value we bring to others.
the value we bring to ourselves - it keeps us going, but it dies with us.
the value we bring to others - it might indirectly bring value to ourselves (studies show it does, but those studies are statistical and not empirical in nature), but it's the only thing that outlives us.
and really, what's the point of bringing value to others, if not as some sort of ego-pleasing "people will appreciate/miss/admire/... me"? the idea that the value of my life can be expected to outlive my physical existence?
it seems to me the people who live for themselves might be happier than those who live for others.
but those who live for themselves (i don't count myself as one of them) probably don't want to see themselves as some sort of selfish life-and-energy-sucking-being.
what is the intrinsic value of a human life, no matter how good it has been, other than prolong our species' race to either extinction or destruction of everything other than our species to as much of an extent as we can? would it simply be more valuable to bring our species tyranny to an end sooner? or are we holding out against hope, expecting to someday do better than we have so far?
what, really, is the value of life?
what should be the value of life?
what should be the value of my life?
is there even a concept of value of life?