Wednesday, November 15, 2017

phone-y dreams

I had some strange phone dreams last night.

in my dream, my oneplus one (which has stopped working in real life) started working by accident. it started working when I disassembled and reassembled it, and accidentally used the battery and SIM tray of a oneplus two of my friend (who was also disassembling and reassembling his phone). his phone stopped working, and he assumed it was because he reassembled it wrong... and i realized what had happened only after he left, because my sim was loose in the tray. he left his phone behind as well, so I couldn't return the parts. I assumed he didn't care and continued to use it.

I also had another phone, one which defies explanation: it was called an elephant phone, and it was shaped like a miniaturized elephant. it stood on its 4 legs, and was about half a foot in length and height. i liked the phone because it supported dual sim + a memory card. these were under a hinged panel in its back. I was expecting superlative battery life due to its size, but apparently the battery life was on par with other normal phones. strangely though, the elephant phone had no visible earpiece or speaker... or screen! it was a toy elephant with two sim cards and a memory card slot. I didn't know the manufacturer's name, and someone told me it's a Nokia. I remember being confused in the dream about Nokia creating Android phones (but nowhere did the phone give any clue to suggest that it runs Android)

Sunday, November 12, 2017

why do i blog?

i'm not sure if i've blogged about this before, and honestly, at this moment, i don't really care.

i have forgotten my blog exists. i have forgotten that you, my dear reader, exists.

i have forgotten that if there's something i need to throw out there, make available to the world without any external validation, i have a place to do it.

sometimes, it feels like the self is a mirror. the more you look inside, the more you see outside. and i've stopped looking inside.

i don't know why, but i know that i've stopped.

it's hard to explain the metaphysical phenomenon where the self expands, so that something that used to be outside myself, can now look at me, and see the outside through the mirror... thus rendering the act of what used to be myself looking inside, redundant.

the phenomenon where i don't feel the need to ask myself questions, because someone else is doing the asking for me.

as i think about it, strange diagrams come to mind.

and i'm happy with these diagrams. i'm happy with this real representation of the abstract projection of my reality.

so happy that i don't even feel the need to draw these diagrams and stick them here, even though i know the images in my mind will fade before i even fall asleep, and this blog post will look like gibberish when i wake tomorrow.

and that leads me the answer to why i don't blog anymore.

i started off blogging for others. i then moved to blogging to myself.

but this post isn't even for myself. it's for my present. the intersection of the self and the current moment. something which will not exist at the time anyone (myself included) is reading this.

so... why even blog?

Monday, November 06, 2017

springing back

just woke up from a dream which was so continuity-defying that I can't even string it properly together into a coherent story. epic scene in the dream:

squashing one dimension of spacetime so that my hand could reach through rickshaws in a traffic jam.

was so startled by the experience that I woke up immediately, and I felt the universe getting back into its usual shape in the instant that I was opening my eyes. the feeling of springing back into shape still lingers.

phone-y dreams

I had some strange phone dreams last night. in my dream, my oneplus one (which has stopped working in real life) started working by acciden...