(in a movie theater line, waiting to buy our tickets)
k = me
a = my friend
s = a's boyfriend
(a's phone rings)
a: (on the phone) hello, hold on a sec.
a: here, talk.
a: talk to him!
k: talk to whom?
a: my boyfriend!!!
k: you want me to talk to your boyfriend?
k: i think he'd rather talk to you
a: no! i told him to call now because i want him to talk to you!
a: cmon, he's waiting!!!
k: but i don't even know his name!!!
a: his name is s!!! cmon now!!!
k: uhhhh okay
k: (on the phone) hello?
s: hi dude
s: nothing much...how've you been?
k: pretty okay i guess
(making throat cutting gestures to a)
s: so how's things out there?
k: pretty busy. work's hectic, as always.
(making violent throat cutting gestures to a)
k: and how about you?
s: yeah, same here. you know how it is. so which movie?
(trying to stick my tongue out and making a dead expression at a)
a: (loudly) show gimme the phone
s: okay man, i'll talk to you later. you take care!
k: yeah man, you too...bye.
a: (taking phone from me) okay bye, i'll call you later.
k: *PLEASE DON'T DO THAT TO ME EVER AGAIN!!!*
i'm saying it out loud now. i don't mind making small talk when i'm introduced to someone, or say if we're sitting down and having a beer together (usually only happens with their boyfriends, i guess :P), but giving me your phone and saying: "here. talk." is about the only thing that can make me lose my (otherwise rock-steady) composure. please don't!!! really.