i've noticed one weird thing about women close to me. they love to put me on phone calls with people they enjoy talking to. without warning. ignoring my protests. and strangely, it's always been their boyfriends, moms, brothers. never their hot friends.
(in a movie theater line, waiting to buy our tickets)
k = me
a = my friend
s = a's boyfriend
(a's phone rings)
a: (on the phone) hello, hold on a sec.
a: here, talk.
a: talk to him!
k: talk to whom?
a: my boyfriend!!!
k: you want me to talk to your boyfriend?
k: i think he'd rather talk to you
a: no! i told him to call now because i want him to talk to you!
a: cmon, he's waiting!!!
k: but i don't even know his name!!!
a: his name is s!!! cmon now!!!
k: uhhhh okay
k: (on the phone) hello?
s: hi dude
s: nothing much...how've you been?
k: pretty okay i guess
(making throat cutting gestures to a)
s: so how's things out there?
k: pretty busy. work's hectic, as always.
(making violent throat cutting gestures to a)
k: and how about you?
s: yeah, same here. you know how it is. so which movie?
(trying to stick my tongue out and making a dead expression at a)
a: (loudly) show gimme the phone
s: okay man, i'll talk to you later. you take care!
k: yeah man, you too...bye.
a: (taking phone from me) okay bye, i'll call you later.
k: *PLEASE DON'T DO THAT TO ME EVER AGAIN!!!*
i'm saying it out loud now. i don't mind making small talk when i'm introduced to someone, or say if we're sitting down and having a beer together (usually only happens with their boyfriends, i guess :P), but giving me your phone and saying: "here. talk." is about the only thing that can make me lose my (otherwise rock-steady) composure. please don't!!! really.