Tuesday, June 02, 2009

conversations i'd rather not

i've noticed one weird thing about women close to me. they love to put me on phone calls with people they enjoy talking to. without warning. ignoring my protests. and strangely, it's always been their boyfriends, moms, brothers. never their hot friends.

(in a movie theater line, waiting to buy our tickets)
k = me
a = my friend
s = a's boyfriend

(a's phone rings)
a: (on the phone) hello, hold on a sec.
a: here, talk.
k: what?
a: talk to him!
k: talk to whom?
a: my boyfriend!!!
k: you want me to talk to your boyfriend?
a: ya!!!
k: i think he'd rather talk to you
a: no! i told him to call now because i want him to talk to you!
k: what?
a: cmon, he's waiting!!!
k: but i don't even know his name!!!
a: his name is s!!! cmon now!!!
k: uhhhh
a: now!!!
k: uhhhh okay
k: (on the phone) hello?
s: hi dude
k: hi...wassup
s: nothing much...how've you been?
k: pretty okay i guess
(making throat cutting gestures to a)
s: so how's things out there?
k: pretty busy. work's hectic, as always.
(making violent throat cutting gestures to a)
k: and how about you?
s: yeah, same here. you know how it is. so which movie?
k: errr...so-and-so
(trying to stick my tongue out and making a dead expression at a)
a: (loudly) show gimme the phone
s: okay man, i'll talk to you later. you take care!
k: yeah man, you too...bye.
a: (taking phone from me) okay bye, i'll call you later.
k: *PLEASE DON'T DO THAT TO ME EVER AGAIN!!!*

i'm saying it out loud now. i don't mind making small talk when i'm introduced to someone, or say if we're sitting down and having a beer together (usually only happens with their boyfriends, i guess :P), but giving me your phone and saying: "here. talk." is about the only thing that can make me lose my (otherwise rock-steady) composure. please don't!!! really.

6 comments:

Tisha said...

You know Kris...its always the girls who do this to their guy friends...it will never be the other way round. You will never find a guy saying...here dude just talk to my GF...no that will never happen....

Sneha said...

I have no idea what "a" was trying to prove! Its so weird and I don't understand the logic behind this. Do gals really do that???

krist0ph3r said...

it's because they boyfriends probably feel insecure about them hanging out with other guys (especially if the other guy is rather close), so by introducing us and trying to make us friends, they're trying to make use of the guy respect thing (basically that a respectable guy should never move in on a friend of his).

brothers...hmmm i don't know, it's very hard to explain. but it's a very real feeling that i'm aware of.

i still don't understand why moms are involved though!!!

Freya said...

i never knew girls do that. I think they want their male friends and boyfriends to be friends. That's why.

It's weird though.

Winnie the poohi said...

Erm!! I would never do this! Weird!

DeeSee said...

Hahahaha... This is so true.
They have a knack of doing it.

Notice... the guy on the other end usually always calls u 'Duuude' in the most retarded american accent too.

Or maybe that just happens to me....
Blah !

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