Wednesday, September 12, 2007

random things i noticed last weekend

i did a lot of traveling last weekend. to be more accurate, i just traveled from one end of bombay to another, but these days it feels like a lot :P

one of the nice things about traveling by train (especially during non-rush hours and on holidays) is that you get to observe people and things. if you look hard enough, you're bound to see funny stuff, no matter where you happen to be :) - here's a selection (yeah, i have very selective memory. this is my memory's selection, not mine ;) )

incident 1: off the road


i was walking on the pavement near borivli (a rare phenomenon - i usually defy all logic and sense of self preservation and walk on the road instead), and i saw a middle aged man walking in the opposite direction, on the same pavement.

he falls flat on his face. not a stumbling fall, but a single stroke, wham-on-the-floor-with-no-chance-to-put-your-arms-out one. he drops his bag somewhere nearby. gets back up. a very startled teenage-looking girl picks up his bag and hands it back to him (i know what you're thinking...in my defense, i was too far away to have helped him up myself :P). guy brushes the dirt off himself and continues walking.

i approached the spot slowly (not wanting to trip on anything myself), and observed it carefully. it was very unremarkable, part of a perfectly even stretch that went on for quite a distance in either direction (quite a rare occurrence, but these patches do exist in bombay, as i just discovered :D).

so in short, this is what happened: a guy just tripped over absolutely nothing, and fell flat on his face while walking on a perfectly even pavement. wow. now that's funny! try visualizing it and you'll be in splits too!!!

incident 2: at the railway station


by way of background, i was on my way from churchgate to parel, standing at the door of the train as usual. the train was just picking up speed on its way out of charni road station.

two women, probably in their twenties, were standing face to face to each other, definitely in huggable range. serious expressions on both their faces.

one woman was pulling the other woman's cheeks downwards.

now i'll need to digress for a moment and discuss conventional cheek-pulling techniques:

the objective of cheek pulling is to either display affection or irritate the recipient, but not cause pain or distort the facial expression of the recipient in a non-cute manner. if the recipient has chubby cheeks, they should briefly exhibit elastic oscillation when released.

now if you've ever pulled someone's cheeks, you'll have realised that the only way to achieve the above effect is by pulling the cheeks outwards and slightly towards you. pulling someone's cheeks downwards neither feels affectionate, nor looks cute. in fact, it's rather painful too.

so in short, i saw someone pulling someone else's cheeks in a non-affectionate, painful way, while standing close to her on a rainway station. trippy!!!

incident 3: revolutionary billboard


there was an interesting looking billboard at platform 1, andheri station. it didn't have a very prominent caption. most of it was taken up by a sketch of two guys, sitting right next to each other (positively sticking to each other, i must say) on what looked like a wall, with their backs to the artist's viewpoint. one guy was slightly taller than the other, and he had his arm around the other guy's shoulder in a fashion that could be best described as "undoubtedly non-heterosexual" :D

i was shocked. since when do people advertise this kind of stuff! i guess i haven't been traveling enough, not meeting enough of the junta. i seem to have missed some real change in attitude here. this isn't even gay rights, this is more like advertising their way of life. wow.

i looked again. this time i spotted the subject of the advertisement. something called mahesh tutorials. i wonder what they were trying to sell ;)


ps: i realise that's a very stereotyped interpretation. blame it on my lack of linguistic ability, my mental retardation or whatever else makes you feel unOffended.

1 comment:

The Shmoo said...

the "perfectly even pavement" made me laugh the most.. ever since IC Colony has been dug up in every nook and corner... a perfectly even pavement has become fiction... :(

nice article ! pity that lady's cheeks though :D

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