Saturday, January 10, 2009

embarassment

i have this penchant for landing myself in strange situations...but yesterday took the cake: two incidents in the span of an hour!!!

scene 1:

outside orlem church. i had to go for the 7pm mass. i was 5 minutes early. i was so hungry i thought i would pass out. i had my lunch still packed in my bag (had gone to inorbit for lunch...friday woo hoo!!!). decided to eat it. realised i have no spoon, no napkins, nothing. just the tiffin box. decided to be as inconspicous as possible since it felt very weird eating my tiffin (chicken curry, btw) standing on a roadside.

opened my tiffin. picked out chicken pieces one by one. since they had tiny and partly edible bones, i started chewing them bones and all and eating them whole.

someone calls out to me. asks me if i'm the security guard.

i then realise i'm standing next to an atm. the corporation bank atm, to be precise.

he asks me how to use the atm.

i stuff all of the chicken in my mouth and hope he doesn't notice.

i then mumble that the atm is out of order (the light above the card slot isn't blinking).

thank heavens that guy didn't know me. i hope he never sees me again. in fact, i wish he never saw me ever. i wish i was a turtle so i cold have put my head into my shell or someplace he couldn't see me. seriously.

i felt like a school kid caught eating his tiffin under the bench, and stuffs the rest of it in his mouth because he doesn't know what to do with it, and is then summoned in front of the school headmaster and can't speak because he has a stuffed mouth. yes, that embarrassing. i bet you now know how i felt.

scene 2:

on my way home after aforementioned mass. traffic jam at a signal. i'm irritated cos i'm in a hurry to get home (it's my parents' anniversary, damnit!!!). small gap opens up. my bike stalls at the very same instant (don't ask why, it just happens...at the worst possible moment :P)

i started up the bike in a hurry (yes, i've finally fixed the electric starter :D), and revved it. just as this woman appears from behind an adjacent sumo and bang in front of my bike.

apparently, while starting, i revved the bike way too much because that woman (she seemed to be the nervous sort who talks to herself when startled...dunno if you've met the sort) actually tried to scream "OH MY GOD!!!", but was so startled that she couldn't actually make a sound...so what resulted was a silent lip synch (more like a throat synch, really) at point blank range. i said sorry to her and she was even more embarrassed knowing that i saw her expression. what resulted was a really weird moment with both of us staring embarrassedly at each other, until the cars behind us started honking :P

oh and something else also happened, but i can't remember it now so i shall not count it. two events in an evening are more than enough :D

4 comments:

A said...

Oh you are simply insecure. At least the first incident points so --the second one is indeed embarrassing.

Nothingman said...

Funny stuff man. Food is good, anywhere, anytime, eat without feeling embarrassed :D

I have had times when there was chicken packed in a bag and there was no spoon, no plate, no nothing. You had a tiffin at least!

I have to get my bike's electric start repaired too :P

N

Kris said...

@a: hmmm, intelligent observation. i am insecure. childhood scars. caught eating in class when in school, just like it was mentioned in the post :P

@n: yeah man...i guess i was just having a bad day. the next day, i made up for it by roaming the entire city (on bike and then train) in beach shorts and bathroom slippers and a worn-out tee...from 10am to 2:30am next day...post on that later :D

Winnie the poohi said...

oh man that was fun! I would have offered the other guy! one has to have the 'sharing' attitude atleast in front of the church :D :D

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