statistics

i looked at my blog today after a while, and realized it's been languishing a bit.

but then i looked at the post history, and realized i've done 25 posts in these 8 months of 2013, while i did 33 in all of 2012... which actually sounds like i've posted above last year's average.

not wanting to things in half measures, i quickly calculated the quarter-on-quarter totals, and concluded that i'm actually at the exact same post rate as i was last year - what happened was that my posting tapered off dramatically, back then.

which reminds me of a conversation i had yesterday, on twitter:

@rohanbabu: In India, every year 1.2 mn new cases of cancer gets detected.

@vodkaholic: That's a huge number. :(

@krist0ph3r: 1.2m in a country of 1.3b = 0.1%. 1.4% of population dies annually. with 100% mortality, cancer accounts for just 7%!

@krist0ph3r: numbers are all my guesstimates + back of the envelope calculations. but i think 7% is a close enough ballpark.

@vodkaholic: My comment has nothing to do with statistics. Cancer is not a fun way to die.

@krist0ph3r: would you prefer malnutrition? tuberculosis? a heart attack? i think a 93% chance of not dying of cancer is decent :)

@vodkaholic: Never mind.

@krist0ph3r: thoughts: philosophically, it doesn't matter how you die. scientifically, dying of unpreventable diseases is a sign of progress.

ps: i meant "incurable", not "unpreventable" in the last tweet, but you get my gist.

it's true. numbers don't lie... but their interpretation can :)

the weekly grind

strange as it may sound, i like routine when it involves things i enjoy doing. just like may was the month of breakfast rides and watching movies alone, the last month has turned into the month of treks (with a ride, if the numbers make it feasible).

3 weeks in a row, and it's actually an established routine.

on wednesday we start gauging interest in a trek this weekend. figure who's free on saturday, sunday, and both. the date is the first thing to be fixed. a whatsapp group is created with people who are interested.

until 1-2 days before the trek, we then engage in mindless banter, with random breaks into where should we go, etc.

the afternoon before the trek, we fix the destination, the mode(s) of travel, contingency plan in case people back out/oversleep etc.

the evening before the trek, we determine the menu and the timings.

the morning of the trek... we head out and trek!

it's a grueling schedule, but it's totally worth it. i realize i've never pursued the things i love as passionately and relentlessly as i have this year. i'm so grateful that i have cooperative (nay, forgiving!) parents, and a 5 day work schedule :D

it's a routine of awesomeness i probably can't tire of.

so far it's been:


1. night ride to lonavla


2. off-road ride to rajmachi (turned back halfway, but not for want of trying!)


3. trek to kothaligad


4. ride to kalote waterfalls


5. ride + trek to garbut point

next weekend is the last (somewhat) free weekend. probably another trek + ride. then comes 16 days of riding to/from/in ladakh - and then... i'll probably know the wednesday after i'm back :D

serotonin sunrise

as my 30th birthday nears, I realized my clock seems to be running in reverse.

I'm functioning without sleep, doing things I'd have balked at when I was 25, and yet it seems like I have a boundless source of energy somewhere. living in top gear, and yet squeezing out every bit of mileage out of every hour. to the extent that when I look back, I find it hard to believe my memories.

yet it all somehow seems fine, even though I know it shouldn't.

and I have absolutely no idea why.

ps: title inspired by the identically named track by "man with no name"

unsustainable relationships

over the years, I've noticed a pattern in my life. it seems to have been happening ever since I started making friends online (orkut, twitter, and to a small extent, Facebook). it's the path most of my friendships seem to take:

1. interest: the person needs to catch my eye for some reason. it could be the stuff they post, the stuff people say about them, or sometimes (probably more often than I'll admit) just a pretty DP - obviously applies to girls only ;)
2. contact: a period of intense messaging. usually multiple simultaneous conversations on different topics, replying/commenting on their every post/tweet etc.
3. assessment: going through past posts. finding the person's profiles on other sites, engaging with that content if possible, or making a mental note to do so later.
4. integration: add the person everywhere. Facebook, foursquare, subscribe to blog (okay, not always), find an excuse to swap email addresses, the works.
5. meeting: this is the make-or-break point. my online friendships are created solely for converting into offline ones. people who want to keep their online lives separate from their offline ones, despite going through all of the above, strike me as weird and probably a waste of effort (unless they live far away or something). meeting is usually preceded by exchanging phone numbers, but thanks to whatsapp, it rarely involves actual speaking.
6. making plans: after the initial meeting, the person is probably on my mind for the next few days, and so will probably get invited to most of the things I'm up to. plans rarely work out, but there have been the odd (un)lucky few who actually happen to be free at the right places and times. I make plans anyway.
7. settling down: we eventually shift to the communication medium that suits both of us, and attempt to find a sustainable rate of communication. this is the trickiest part. mainly because I only have time to do steps 1-6 with one person at a time, and usually need a short recovery period to catch up on other stuff I've been ignoring. making friends is exciting for me, and the excitement tends to overshadow more necessary, but mundane, things. and after that's done and we're in a state where I can manage the rest of my life while remaining in contact, that the future of the friendship is decided.

some people then just drop off the map. they become the "has-been"s

some people put in a bit of effort from their end, and since I will reciprocate, we end up being in regular online contact, even if we don't meet often (or ever again). if one of us stops putting the effort, everything subsides. they become the "can-be"s

some people end up hanging out with me, and as a result we end up knowing each other pretty well, but then there's a fall-out of sorts, usually after one of us discovers something we can't stand about the other. they become the "somebody-that-i-used-to-know"

and finally, some people hang out with, me, get along fabulously, and eventually reach a point where we don't need to be in online contact to be a part of each other's lives. they end up meeting my other such best friends, and generally become indistinguishable from (say) my college and childhood friends. they become my BFFs.

they become my sustainable relationships.

saint xaviers college

someone posted on my college's facebook page that she's conducting a survey and was looking for one sentence quotes about what they miss the most about st xaviers' college. a lot of things ran through my mind:

the obvious foyer, woods, library, the slightly offbeat "arches", the practically unknown quiet spot behind the chapel, the "foodie" mess, the regular cafeteria. but all that can be just summarized in one word: geography.

then there was the "boring" academic stuff that i probably won't admit - mainly because academics seemed so effortless in college (atleast, in hindsight). but there was a hidden brilliance to that. profs who stayed out of your way if you didn't care, but went the extra mile if you were passionate. some profs who were almost parental, others who treated you like an adult despite some (incredibly!) juvenile behaviour.

but that's not what i missed the most.

"i miss being surrounded by brilliant people, and yet never getting the feeling that someone was 'better' or 'worse'... everyone felt equally accepted, no matter how different"

because that's what changed me.

because when i left college, it just took me a few weeks to realize that what i had, that most others didn't, was confidence. a belief in myself.

and then it took me a couple of years of post-graduation to help me realize beyond doubt that everyone looked up to me, even though in my head, they were harder workers, faster, smarter, more creative, and in general more brilliant. because i wasn't afraid to stand out and show exactly who i am, without caring how it looked. and nobody could teach you that, without you being there.

those were my wings.

xaviers, you gave me wings.

how to embarrass yourself at work: part 6

okay, there are actually way more than 6 ways to embarrass yourself at work, but this is one i particularly remember:

i was walking from my desk to the restroom. and i felt a bit of flatulence on the way. now i usually am quite the expert at letting 'em loose discreetly (read: silently), so i decided to take my chances. and let out a clearly audible toot, right behind a colleague's (from another team) desk.

i'm not sure if he turned to see who did it, because i walked as briskly as i could to the restroom.

the hilarity of what had just happened was too much to stifle, and so i burst out laughing while i peed. luckily for me, the restroom was empty, and i had an incredibly satisfying fart while peeing.

until, seconds later, the same guy entered the restroom.

and witnessed me laughing, peeing, and farting. simultaneously, and with gusto.

i did my best to stifle my laughter, while staring at the ceiling to avoid eye contact. i'm sure that made me look even funnier, but there was no way i could anyhow acknowledge his presence in that situation.

i'm sure he still thinks i'm some sort of freak. but that moment was priceless... and totally worth it!

change me, may-be?

may has been a month of unplanned (but desirable) changes. so far, three:

1. joined a gym. took a three year membership. no excuses for the next three years (or so i imagined)
2. after a year's break, got back to watching morning shows of movies. alone. also helps that i get two heavily discounted tickets every month ;)
3. bike trips. mostly breakfast rides.

the only thing left to do is cut some cruft out of my life to make room. currently the only thing i've ended up skimping on is sleep. which is a terrible thing, really!