I'm a selfish person.

just like the blind can't lead the blind, an unhappy person can't make someone else happy. you make people happy not by doing things, but by first being happy, and then teaching them your secret, either by example or by word.

hence, focus on your own happiness. be selfish about your happiness. because the responsiibility for your happiness lies on you and you alone.

conversely, doing something just because it will make someone else happy, will make you unhappy. and the other person may learn to rely on you or other people for their happiness. and this situation makes nobody happy.

so pursue your own happiness relentlessly. nobody will even realize you're being selfish about it, unless you tell them. and when you find your happiness, you'll find your work is pretty much done.

happy eather

so, it's easter evening. my hangover has subsided, and i'm now ready for a round of visiting relatives and some more merrymaking. yeah, i know, i didn't really have an excuse for all the frivolities of last night, considering i didn't fast, sacrifice, or do any sort of penance this lent. heck, i bunked confession, even.

sounds like this is everything easter isn't supposed to be, right? there was a time when it felt like that to me too.

but not any more.

what is easter? it's a celebration.

it's a celebration of hope. of salvation. of having a singular purpose to our lives, however wayward our means may be. it's the spirit of christianity. to me, the rules, the norms, are all secondary.

eat and drink your fill. be merry. but do not forget that christ is risen, and we will rise too. all we need to do is the work of god.

happy easter!

um...and pass the easter eggs, please? :P

rape me

disclaimer: this post is not intended to offend. just an insight.

a while ago, a female friend told me about how she was having issues with this friend who uses the word "rape" very casually in conversation. i didn't comment back then, but somehow, my initial reaction was that she was being overly-sensitive. after all, in today's lingo, curse-words aren't really meant to be taken literally, and quite a few abuses that nobody seems to take undue offense to would have been extremely offensive if they were.

which got me thinking aloud on twitter:

i'm afraid to use the word "rape" in female company for fear of causing an outrage. this is not good.

guess my thoughts at that point were focused on two philosophies of cursing (yesh, i do have such philosophies):

1. anything not directed at a person isn't offensive


2. once something is designated a curse-word, it is not to be taken literally, unless there is no other plausible meaning

thankfully, a friend reacted to my tweet with something that got me thinking:

• the word "rape" is not a curse-word


• rape implies violent damaging sexual abuse. and i'm ashamed to say, with the exception of the sexual part, my usage of the word does imply the other three. so maybe i'm not sticking to principle #2 myself

conclusion: "rape" is not a curse word. and i will never use it as one. i hope you're convinced too.

music: it's all around us

halfway through my shower, I realized the water on this mug was vibrating to the beats of the music! not just the music...only the beats!

ps: re the previous post, option 2 it is!!! photos whenever possible, and maybe also option 1, "the week in photos" every sunday :)

direction

the blog goes where it wants to. but sometimes, it needs a few twists and turns.

I have a few ideas.

1: my social life (photos + story once a week)

2: arbit photos (I click a lot of them, some funny, some weird, some...mundane)

3 regular blog posts, with unrelated but awesome photos :D

4: no change, the same boring stories, an occasional photo of my shiny head...you know the drill!

your choice. 1 to 4. I save comments.

the wrong kind of sleep

I've not been sleeping well lately. somehow, I get a fresh burst of energy at 1am, and then even counting sheep keeps me awake.

I was in office till midnight, last night. also, there was this strange feeling of weakness (I was actually feeling cold in my office parking lot...at the peak of summer!). so when I got home, ate two quickly made chicken frankies (thanks, mom!), and crashed into bed, I was relieved. sleep at 1am, after weeks!

unfortunately, I had dozed off in the parents' bed (bro was doing stuff that needed the lights on in our room).

I slept like a log for an hour, until it was finally time for the parents to sleep. dad tried waking me up as gently as possible, but the moment I opened my eyes I jumped up with a start.

I'm not sure why, but something felt wrong. something felt very alien.

I exclaimed: what is this? how did this happen? this is the wrong kind of sleep!

I can't explain what I felt, but it was this weird feeling. like all my senses were connected. like the world tasted metallic, despite there being nothing in my mouth.

it felt like the wrong kind of sleep.

anyway, today morning I had a weird dream. forgot most of it, but I remember it involved going to this gym which was big enough for only 1 person, and where all the exercises were to be done sitting down.

also, my personal instructor complained that I have bad breath.