Wednesday, November 27, 2024

everybody's free (to wear sunscreen)

2am. a restless night that doesn't want me to sleep. I'm sore and tired, my eyes burning, but sleep eludes me.

one glance at my phone screen that silently glowed in the darkness of the bedside table told me I have a new message. it was mom, telling me she didn't call me as she didn't check her phone before going to bed. it told me she was awake. 

I took my phone from the bedroom to the couch downstairs and called her. she answered right away. we spoke for an hour. we spoke about how I can't sleep as my feet are aching and my eyes are burning. she told me what new exercises she's added to her morning regime to keep her chronic backache from getting worse. we spoke about arbitrary things. after half an hour I told her I should go back to bed even though I'm sleepy. it took half an hour to say goodbye. at some point it stopped being a goodbye and just was an extension of the conversation.

I told her I want to spend time with her while she's healthy and able to enjoy it. I told her I'm sad that I didn't get as much time with dad as I'd have liked and I don't want the same to happen with her. 

I told her I love her and miss her. 

I don't remember when's the last time I told her I love her and miss her. I don't think she remembered either. 

at that moment, I wanted and needed to hug her more than I have wanted and needed to hug her since the last time I did. 

she hung up.

I want to sleep. my thoughts won't let me. 

I've spent the last 42 minutes, half in tears, listening to Baz Luhrmann. one song on repeat: wear sunscreen.

one line struck me every time the song looped:

"The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4 PM on some idle Tuesday"

it's 3:47am on Wednesday but it's still a blindside. 

I want a hug from my mom. Nothing else will do today. 

But I don't think I'm going to start wearing sunscreen. 

Tuesday, November 19, 2024

Battery low

It's 11:14pm. I'm siting on my couch, watching a video uploaded in November 2024 about a product from 1987 that allowed people to edit videos by controlling 2 VCRs. At the same time, I am trying to test a pair of AAA batteries in Shruti's wireless keyboard. Ironically, I am unable to test those batteries as the original pair of batteries, that Shruti claimed had stopped working earlier today, are working now! Also, I am separated from my trusty multimeter by my sleping mom-in-law, which makes solving the problem considerably more difficult. My only obvious option is to type away on the keyboard with the old batteries until they die so I can actually verify the new batteries are an better than the old one. However, the video is practically over but the old batteries are still going strong.

I have decided to call it quits and inform Shruti that the old batteries are still working but if they give up a new pair of batteries have been left beside the keyboard. Hopefully, that's it. Off to bed! In the meantime, it has started snowing and I woke Shruti up to see it, but it only caught her attention for 30 seconds.

ps: the old batteries gave up at literally the last word. new(er) batteries have been installed and the keyboard is confirmed to work with them. The keyboard randomly misses keys I type, and this seems to persist with the new batteries as well, so not battery related. However Shruti doesn't seem to have observed this, or if she has, she doesn't care, so I'm going to leave it at that! Good night!

Wednesday, November 13, 2024

nightmares don't come true

It was Sunday morning. I wanted to hike up cavehill (the hill I live on the side of) with the cavehill walking club - they hike up every Sunday at 11am. I set my alarm for 10am before going to bed.


I woke up, and I was late. I considered running to the start point, but as there were less than 5 minutes for 11am I realized I wouldn't make it in time. I considered cycling to the start point, but I remembered I haven't used my cycle in over 2 weeks and it probably needs air as it tends to lose air from the rear tyre over a few weeks and I haven't filled it in at least in a month.


I decided to run up the couple of streets that lead to a shortcut that meets the path about 10 minutes ahead of the start point. Once I got to the shortcut I slowed down to a brisk walk as I didn't want to tire myself out. I got to the point where the shortcut meets the main path. I checked the path both ways, and there was nobody in sight at all. Not even a random passer-by to ask if they saw a group going up. I figured I was still behind the group and had to take another shortcut to catch up with them. This one involved cutting across a couple of fields and a hedge before getting to the main path again.


I cut through the first field and the hedge and was entering the second field, but I was getting increasingly tired. My legs were struggling to move. It got to a point where I was trying to move my legs by grabbing my thighs with my arms and pulling them forward - and it still didn't help. I stopped and stood still. I couldn't move.


I looked around. There was nobody to be seen. I wondered how long I'll be here before someone found me.


I was sweating profusely. A cold sweat.


And that's when I woke up.


It was 9:55am, Sunday morning. I dismissed my alarm and asked if anyone was driving to the start point and could give me a lift. I busied myself with other things, as I thought I had plenty of time. But time passed, and before I knew it, it was 10:45am. I would have to leave right now if I had to walk to the start point, as nobody offered me a lift. I rushed downstairs, but I realized I was hungry. I stuck some fruit in my backpack. 10:55am. I had to leave right now if I had to cycle to the start point. But I wasn't sure if the cycle had air. I went to the shed and checked - my cycle was locked up with the heavy chain inside the shed from before I went on vacation. I didn't even check the air, because I couldn't remember where I had kept the key - that chain is only used when I'm locking the cycles and going on vacation. Back in the house, I considered running up the next couple of streets and taking the shortcut.


Something stopped me. I'm not sure what. Time seemed to slow down, or maybe speed up. It was 11am, then 11:05am. If I left now, I would definitely have to take both shortcuts and jog most of the way.


I decided to take the motorbike to the parking lot halfway up instead.


I left at 11:15. Got to the parking lot at 11:25. The parking lot was so full cars were parked on the road nearby. Thankfully I was able to find a spot inside the lot that was too small for a car but big enough for the bike. Locked up my helmet and started running towards the path. When I got to the point where people usually stop for a break and to click a photo (this is the spot where there's a waterfall too), there was nobody at all. I waited a few seconds and then decided to run on ahead.


I passed a lady coming downhill and asked if she had passed a group of walkers going up, including a tall long haired man with a chihuahua (the only person I was sure would be on the walk!). She said she had passed a group of walkers, and there was a tall long haired man, but she didn't see a chihuahua. I figured it must be them anyway, and jogged on ahead.


I reached the point where the second shortcut meets the main path when I recognized two friends from the walking club.


I told them the dream I just had before I left for the walk.


It was Monday morning. I had to make myself an appointment to see the doctor during the week. The doctor's reception released all the appointments for the week at 10am on Monday morning. There are two ways to get an appointment: call up at 10am or go to the reception in person at 10am. However, going to the reception is more reliable as plenty of people tend to call and I've been waiting in queue for over half an hour only to be told all the appointments for the week have been released and I need to call again next Monday. People also queue up outside the reception, but it seems like the receptionist deals with people quicker in person than on the phone, as I've counted at least 30 people getting appointments in the queue, while the phone queue takes half an hour even if there are less than 15 in queue.


So the ideal plan was to go in person and book an appointment. That was the plan all along - I had already packed my lunch, fruit box, snack box, etc the previous night. But somehow, when going to bed, I clicked something by accident that dismissed all my alarms for Monday morning. I tried reinstating them but I wasn't sure if it would work.


Monday morning, and I had to decide if I was going to take the motorbike to work or cycle. I reminded myself that I had already walked up cavehill on Sunday, so it would probably be more prudent to take the motorbike. I was hungry though and decided I should have breakfast before I leave. Breakfast done, I left for the doctor's - after which I would head to office. However, while I was on the way, it was clear from traffic and the time on my motorbike's dashboard that I wasn't going to make it at 10am. And in fact I had to make it before 10am if I was to not be at the end of the queue!


I decided to stop and call the doctor instead.


I was passing a mall, so I decided to park there. As I got my phone out to call the doctor, I walked into the mall from the parking lot. Something was wrong with my phone though. It wasn't acting the way I expected it to. Instead of calling the doctor, it created a reminder to call the doctor. It then made the reminder to call the doctor to repeat every day at 10am. As I was trying to fix that there was a message saying that an update was going to be installed, and this would change how reminders would look (even though they would continue to work the same). I was wondering why my phone wasn't letting me call the doctor.


That's when I noticed there was actually no network in range. I walked towards the glass front of the mall and looked out as I waited for the phont to pick up a signal. I tried calling again. This time it tried to make a WhatsApp call, which obviously wouldn't work. I was so confused and frustrated with my phone and wondered why I couldn't make a simple phone call.


And that's when I woke up.


I had either slept through or dismissed my alarms in my sleep, or maybe I had not successfully reinstated them. Shruti woke me up, reminding me that I had to call the doctor. I asked her what time I should call to be at the front of the queue when they release appointments. She said I should call immediately. it was 9:35am.


I called. I was the first in the queue. I thought to myself, that's weird. If I was first in the queue, would the receptionist answer and tell me to call closer to 10am? I decided not to take a chance, and call later. Still in bed, I called at 9:45am. I was again first in the queue! This was weird. I decided to call 5 minutes later.


At 9:50am, I was still first in the queue! I wondered if the receptionist was answering the phone and asking people to call back later. Still, I decided, if I was first in the queue at 9:55, I would stay on and speak to the receptionist before calling again.


I called at 9:55am. I was 5th in the queue this time, and the wait time was barely 5 minutes! And I don't think many people showed up in person, because I got an appointment for Tuesday morning!


I messaged Shruti to say the appointment was for Tuesday morning at 10:30am, because I was still not sure if I was awake or in a dream.


I woke up half an hour later. I checked my phone for messages. It said that I messaged Shruti to say I had an appointment for Tuesday morning at 10:30am. In fact it only said "Tuesday 1030". I'm still not sure if I typed it half asleep or fully awake.


It was only on Tuesday morning, when I reached at the reception (on cycle) and saw that they did indeed have my appointment that I was sure it was not a dream.

Friday, October 18, 2024

The circle of life

Over the last three years, I've developed an attachment to the birds that frequent our garden. It all started when Nickolai and Damian gifted us a bird feeder during their visit in August 2021. It started off as just a few random birds, but now we have close to (if not more than) a hundred birds regularly visiting our feeder. They eat about 1.5 kg of bird food on most days! We regularly spot fledgling birds, having just learned how to fly, but not how to eat, sit on the garden fence while their parents feed them off our feeder. It seems that most birds have two batches of young each year: one in late spring and one in mid autumn or so. But besides the common wild birds that visit often, we also have a few rare visitors. Last year, it was two arctic terns, en route their annual migration to South Africa. This year, about a month ago, I spotted a young sparrowhawk sitting on our fence. It was so young it was smaller than an adult pigeon - in fact I was a little skeptical that it was a bird of prey, given its diminutive size.

Today, as I was making my morning cup of tea, I heard a thud. A solid thud, as if a bird had flown into the backdoor head on at full speed. I rushed to the door and saw what seemed to have caused it: a sparrowhawk, at least 4 times the size the one I had seen the last time, and a starling. The sparrowhawk was standing on the starling, and the starling was on its back, squawking and wings flapping as hard as it could. I opened the door, making as much noise as I could in the hope it'd scare the predator away. The sparrowhawk was unfazed though. It literally just took one glance at me and turned its focus back to the struggling starling. In less than a second, it was airborne, its talons firmly gripping the still alive and struggling starling as it flew away, presumably to its nest or someplace private where it'd finish the job.

I shut the door and called Shruti. I think she heard the distress in my voice because her first response was to calm me down and reassure me it wasn't my fault. 

I sat down with my cup of tea, conscious of the silence that had now engulfed the garden. There were no birds to be seen or heard. I wondered if this incident would scare the birds away for a while. But that's not what happened. 

By the time I finished my cup of tea, the birds (starlings included) were back, and back to fighting over the food in the 6 bird feeders. 

I reminded myself, it's just the circle of life. 

Wednesday, October 16, 2024

Duracell Powercheck

Half an hour ago, my wireless keyboard stopped working. I tested the battery with the multimeter and it was down to 1 volt.

I tested all the AA batteries in my battery drawer to find the lowest battery over 1.2v that isn't in a pair (as my keyboard needs only one). I have a Duracell PowerCheck AA that registered 1.2V on my multimeter. When I noticed the PowerCheck, I decided to use the other battery as this Duracell was probably worth preserving. The only PowerCheck battery I remember ever coming across before this was in the 90s - and it was probably a discarded one as it only showed 1/3rd charge (and probably had even less, as this was in India, so much warmer than the rated 21°C)

And then, this video showed up on my youtube. Uploaded 7 days ago!

Duracell PowerCheck: A genius idea which didn't last that long

I looked at the Duracell, and it has a best before of March 2026! This really surprised me, as I haven't purchased any batteries recently (I have many rechargeable batteries just waiting to be used, and my current stock of alkaline batteries have all been purchased over 7 years ago!).

However, once I got to the end of the video, I decided to use the powercheck meter on the battery and it didn't show any reading at all. Testing it dropped the voltage displayed on the multimeter to 0.6v. Once I released the dots, the voltage dropped back up to 0.9v.

What are the odds that a famous youtuber uploads a video that I happen to see right when I test a battery with that exact feature, except that he was under the impression that those are long since out of production, while they clearly are not?! And his closing point of the video was why a multimeter might actually show a battery to have more "power" than it actually has than the powercheck meter does, when the one battery I happen to have on hand has that exact problem?

I am going to sleep mind-blown.

Friday, September 27, 2024

Christmas without dad

It was the morning of Christmas. Late morning, as it was nice and bright. The phone rang - it was the green land line. Aunt Avita was on the phone. She wished me a merry Christmas and asked to speak to dad. I went to the bedroom and picked up the extension there and told her to wait a minute. Dad was napping. He was lying on his side - for some weird reason, he was lying on the side he usually wouldn't. I nudged him awake and gave him the phone. I left the room and bumped into mom on my way out. She asked me who called. I told her dad was speaking to Aunt Avita. She asked me, where is he?

I turned around and saw there was nobody else in the room. In fact, there was no telephone either.

Mom sat cross legged on the bed and said, dad isn't here. I sat beside her, laid my head in her lap, and repeated, dad isn't here. We cried.

And that's when I woke up. 



Thursday, September 26, 2024

our first opera - Eugene Onegin

In February, on a whim, Shruti asked me if we could go for an opera performance at the recently renovated and reopened Royal Opera House in Belfast. I said yes, without much thought, despite our usual track record of plans made well in advance going awry - especially when there is money involved!

Thankfully, things did not go wrong, and the day arrived. Shruti reminded me a week before it as I had completely forgotten we had this booked in! We both decided to go to office that day, to reduce the chances of any last minute hiccups, and we were ready at the opera house at 7pm, with about half an hour to spare. This was my first time at the Royal Opera House, and it was magnificent, from the ornate ceiling and decor to the stage which seemed massive from our vantage point. It was also smaller than some of the opera houses I've seen in photos, which might have worked in our favour as I do prefer the intimacy of a smaller venue for live performances. Shruti had picked seats in the 2nd row, which I'd have personally assumed to be too close (a friend Nicole who is also an opera singer said that row 8 is the sweet spot as it puts you at eye level with the actors) but given the size of the venue it didn't hinder our experience. I'm not sure where I read about the programme being handed out for an Opera but Shruti had to go back out of the main hall to collect one, and reading it occupied me for the few minutes before the lights dimmed and the show began.



My first impression was that this was almost a sensory overload. The music was beautiful in it's own right, as were the costumes, the acting - but the crown was taken by the singing. Having never experienced this before, I didn't really have a benchmark (other than recordings online, of course), but this was so much more! Also, as I hadn't read the story in advance, I didn't really know what to expect - and the first few minutes were spent adjusting to this medium of entertainment. It's almost like I had to switch off my attention to detail, and try to take in the experience as a whole. Everything was mesmerizing. I spent most of the hour and a half of the first acts lost in a trance, almost losing sense of my own existence while I took in the scenes set before me! It was only towards the end of the first half, nearing the interval, that I was aware of the stiffness of sitting in one spot for so long. I guess the seats could have been a little more comfortable. I also might have yawned once, but that was more due to the physical exhaustion of such a long day! The interval was almost an hour and a half from the start, and I was thankful it was a good 20 minutes long - I made a beeline for the loo and then exited the building for a quick stroll and snack from the shop opposite, to prepare myself for the last couple of acts.

The second half was very dramatic, as I kinda expected, but also far shorter than the first half. That was perfect though, as the energy and build up of emotions was very intense, and I dare say the actors packed as much intensity in those last 45 minutes as the did in the first hour and a half!

When it ended, and it was time for the curtain call, I knew that this was an experience that would be hard to top. I know the first time for everything significant feels special, but in this case, it was beyond special - it was magical!

In hindsight, while I had no benchmark, it seems like I was right and also lucky - the performance was critically acclaimed and received many positive reviews online too, by who I'd assume are opera regulars. Perosnally, I was blown away by the fact that an orchestra could play for over two hours without skipping a beat (yes, I know, that's considered the stgandard of performance, but it still blows my mind!) but more so, that while the opera is in Russian, the entire cast whith a couple of exceptions, were Irish or British!

All this means one thing: this is definitely not going to be my last opera!



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