hello? fresh?

three weeks ago, I signed up for hello fresh under strange circumstances: a guy knocked on our door, right when we were going through a food crisis. the crisis was brought on by a throat infection that was so bad I was struggling to even swallow liquids. as I got better, I was still extremely weak from a week of quite literally shutting down: I had been spending over 16 hours in bed, and my only activity was trips to the doctor.

this guy was in the right place at the right time. the offer of meals we could cook with minimum fuss and no grocery shopping (this was before I had purchased the motorbike, so I was relying on a friend to drive me to the shops, or picking stuff up on the way home from the doctor). the 40% (he claimed - I didn't check) discount made it seem on par with our regular grocery shop.

and so, I signed up. he stood at our door while I created my account, and applied his referral code and paid for my first delivery of 5 meals for 2 people each. he explained everything about how it worked, which was good (but nothing we couldn't have figured ourselves) and left.

in my excitement I posteda status about it on Facebook, and that when I had my first misgiving: the 40% discount was actually not 40%, and it certainly wasn't the best discount we could get: referrals could even get free meals, and a neighbour gave us a referral which would have given us cheaper meals than what we got for more weeks than this referral (and all for first time users). so, that's that. I hope this was actually a hello fresh employee and not a random guy, because if it was a random guy, he has my email address and some numeric account number thing 🤦‍♂️

anyway. later that night, I picked our meals (seems they auto select meals, and that's what you get if you don't remember to change the selection). similarly, you get signed up for every week with the same quantity, and you need to manually skip a week. I can see where their approach comes from, and it might be a good experience for some people, but doesn't work for casual users. anyway.

they only offer deliveries on Wednesdays and Thursdays in my postcode. I picked Wednesday.

that's when I had my second revelation... they may call themselves hello fresh, but if its going to be delivered once a week, you're eating food up to a week old 😂 but sure, it's paid for and on its way, and it's not like I'm well enough to go grocery shopping, so I really need it!

Wednesday morning, a large cardboard box was delivered at our doorstep. I completely forgot about hello fresh and was surprised to see the box there on my way to office. Shruti had to unpack it and sort it into stuff going into the fridge and the rest. She wasn't involved in the meal selection so she had absolutely no idea what was in store for her 😁

Wednesday evening, back home from work (my second day in office after my illness, new motorbike, and recovered from the infection... yay!) I came home to see Shruti already busy in the kitchen. she had picked an Asian style stir fry, a favourite for both of us, and something Shruti is already pretty competent at making 😉 This was definitely the first time we were making one with a recipe, or even a plan more specific than "chop stuff, toss in pan, add vaguely Asian sauces, eat". the recipe said 20 minutes cook time, but it took two people an hour - and I think I even forgot some of the steps and added some of the sauces late 🤦‍♂️

either way, we made it in the end... and it was good! tasted great, looked great, and even used a sauce we've never used before! the addition of carrot strips was also a good idea, healthier than just noodles in the stir fry and a good way to get one of your five a day 😁 (or as I'd say: #healthgasm 😂)

I realized I really struggle with using a recipe.

the next day, working from home, I had a look at all the refrigerated ingredients (basically, the chicken and meat) and realized they actually had very close "use by" dates - we had to finish everything by Monday! so much for freshness 🤦‍♂️ #fail

anyway, we now had to plan our meals by the use by date of the ingredients... which is pretty much the way we'd do things when we weren't using hello fresh, except that Shruti had a say in what she'd want to eat when (unless I took the decision when shopping without consulting her 😉)

by Sunday we had all 10 meals cooked (by the end of the weekend, we were beginning to mix and match meals - Sunday's dinner was us eating 2.5 people's portions, and 1.5 portion was left over for my Monday lunch!). But to even things out, Saturday's dinner (burgers, chips and slaw) was so large we saved up the leftovers, which were most of the chips and slaw, and Shruti polished them off for breakfast! 

Sunday evening, I logged in and ensured it was registered that we're skipping the next 2 weeks, and we set it to skip the 3rd week as well.

Shruti was very clear: she did not want to eat hello fresh meals again! She felt they were too "heavy". I didn't find them "heavy" myself. They certainly were close to restaurant grade, and that might lead one to conclude they had restaurant-y in ingredients, but given we've cooked them ourselves, it's clear they didn't! I on the other hand did find the recipes too constrained for my style - I really struggle to follow a recipe, and I do manage to get passable if not good results anyway! And then there was the cost. We could try signing up for a fresh account and getting a free week (offer valid till December) - who'd pass up on a shot at free food!

It's not all bad though. I learned to cook with new ingredients (I am definitely going to stock up on Sambal paste!), learned a few new techniques - carrot strips with noodles, cooking rice without fuss. Shruti has decided to save up the recipes, and it's clear to me why - her style of cooking is very different from mine, Hello Fresh recipes are of consistently good quality, the portion size means no leftovers (and Shruti hates leftovers, especially when I get the quantity completely wrong). We cooked together, which is something we never do when we're cooking without a recipe, and something I really enjoyed. Having 5 meals meant there was always a plan, and no snacking on junk because the portion size was spot on or very close.

Still. My conclusion is, hello fresh is good, but not good enough for us. I might give it another go after a few weeks (if it's free 😉), and I'd definitely go for it if I'm alone (and I have a feeling Shruti will too!) 

new wheels I can't ride

 yes, it happened. I own a motorbike. again. it's a honda. again. it's even a pan european. again.

I still can't explain how it happened. after my accident, it took me over a month and a half before I was in good enough shape to even get back to cycling. and even when I did, it was a struggle. I spent over a month driving to work.

the last weekend before I gave up the courtesy car, I spent half the insurance payout, exchanged my 5 year old full size cycle, and brought myself a full-size ebike.

I told myself, this will be my vehicle of choice for the foreseeable future.

except that... a few weeks later, I fell sick.

and that's when I realized, cycling's great when you're healthy, but simply impossible when you're battling an infection. and my infection was bad.

what started off as an idle thought of getting another bike, now had a note of urgency to it.

truth be told (and this might sound like blasphemy to people who know me well), I'd have been equally happy with a car. but it's just the way things happened. the car thing simply didn't work out, and the bike thing simply did. in fact, I put way more time and effort into car shopping, while pan europeans seemed to be following me around!

anyway. long story short... it's in the driveway. it hasn't left the driveway yet.

I know this isn't the usual me. this wasn't me when I purchased Vicki - that day, I literally rode around the parking lot because I didn't have the tax and insurance to be able to take it out on the road!

which also reminds me, I didn't post a photo of the day I purchased Vicki:

2nd September 2019

Compare that with today (I won't count yesterday as the tax hadn't been paid yet, and gov.uk doesn't allow you top register the purchase/sale of a vehicle after 7pm!) - I dusted the bike, then sprayed it with muc-off and hosed it down, cleaned the inside of the panniers, even fitted the phone mount.

But I didn't ride it. I didn't even sit on it.

Was it because I'm unwell? I guess to some extent, yes - I am far from fit at the moment. My health keeps going between "I should be good to go back to work tomorrow" and coughing fits that make me half wish for a quick and painless end. But I'm not too unwell to take a spin around the block at least.

No, that's not it. I'm still not ready to face the world on a motorbike.

I'm just too nervous at intersections, inclines, uneven surfaces, around vehicles, and all possible  permutations and combinations of them. And worst of all, while I've spent years riding around on worse combinations, the trauma from the accident has left me extremely nervous about getting back on the world on a motorbike. I'm fine on a cycle - in fact, the day I fell sick, I had cycled some 45km, and literally got home because I was hungry and wanted to eat something home cooked! But there's something about getting back on a motorbike, and riding it out, inevitably passing that junction where the accident happened, that fazes me.

I know I'll have to come to terms with it at some point.

I know I'll have to get back to riding again.

But for now, I'm not sure if I'm ready.

I have a feeling she is, though.

16th October 2023

Introducing: Lisa, my 2002 Honda Pan European ST1300.

modern medicine

for a long while, I've avoided modern medicine for as much as I could. eating healthy, getting enough activity, being in touch with my body - it actually works as advertised.

until, late last week, I was down with something.

it started off as a sore throat, and i treated it with the usual salt water gargles, warm fluids (finally digging into my enormous fruit/herbal tea stash!), plenty of rest, the drill.

nothing helped. if anything, I was getting progressively worse.

Tuesday night, a friend said it doesn't sound good at all and I should get urgent medical attention.

the online questionnaire of my "virtual doctor" app said it could be one of three things, and I need URGENT medical attention within the next 6 hours!

panic set in, and I set up a call with a real doctor, the first available slot, scheduled for quarter to midnight. can't believe doctors are up taking calls at that hour! (actually, I know why - they're NHS doctors doing overtime for some side money... gotta admire their devotion!)

the call was inconclusive, made worse by the fact that the app failed to work so the doctor called me on a regular call - so she couldn't see my actual state.

it was time for antibiotics.

I hate antibiotics. I've spent most of my life avoiding them. but that night, I slept so badly (or to put it more accurately, I spent the whole night groaning in agony as I couldn't even swallow my own saliva) that I acknowledged there was no alternative.

500mg of penicillin, 4 times a day, for 10 days.

500mg down, and I already felt better. I told myself it's probably the placebo effect, or maybe it's because I got out of the house to collect it and the fresh air helped?

another 500mg down, and it was definitely not a placebo.

that night, my throat was dramatically better. I was able to eat my first meal in days of solid food without agony.

but then, I had a strange pain in my right cheek. my right cheek was swollen.

at 4am, I acknowledged I couldn't take it any more, and I had to resort to another thing I avoided for ages: painkillers.

500mg of paracetamol and a bit of codeine later, I managed 4 hours of sleep (or was it 3?).

it's crazy, how much worse I'd have been if not for the last 100 years of medicine.

I'm still going to avoid antibiotics and painkillers as much as I can, but I have new found respect for how effective they are - when I really need them!

predictable

It's strange, my recent dreams are so predictably tied to reality that they've stopped being fantastic!

I wonder what's changed. I miss my dreams.

The slow Web

I don't remember my blog very often, but I'm sure most people I know who ever had a blog don't think about theirs at all!

By a quirk of my RSS reader, it somehow marked the last 10 posts in every blog I've subscribed to, as unread. And they sent me an email saying that if I didn't login to my RSS reader in the next 50 days, I'd lose my account and subscriptions for good.

It took me a few posts before I realized what happened. The reader messed up the dates as well - all the posts said 4th October 2023 or something.

Either way, it's been fun to read about the world as it appeared to my many friends, from back when before twitter, instagram, youtube, whatsapp, tiktok and snapchat took over everything. The slow web, when people took time to write and to read. When photos were few and far betwen (if at all!) and videos were unheard of.

While 411 unread posts might cause anxiety to the unprepared mind, I'm not in any hurry to exhaust this treasure trove.

ps: Fun idea: write an app that'd scrape all my RSS feeds and then "surprise me" with random posts in random order.

Almost 40

Yep, I'm almost there. The big four-oh. Never quite imagined myself here. When I was a teenager, I had some idea of what I wanted my 20s to be like. When I was 20, I had some idea of what I wanted my 30s to be like.

I have to admit, I never stopped to think what I wanted my 40s to be like. Or my 50s, for that matter. I do have a vague idea of what I'd like my retired years to be like - but that's a long way off.

I know the drill. Age is just a number, you're as old as you feel, yada yada. But that's not what this post is about. The reason I have no idea what I want my 40s to be like is because my 30s have been so different from anything I imagined. They kinda started predictably, but then I can't pinpoint what happened. All I can say is that just like the things that have happened in the last 10 years, I'm half expecting crazy things to happen in the next 10. I don't know what, but I know it'll most probably be things I have never imagined, or never given much thought to.

There are still some dreams I want to achieve - things that have been on my to-do list for a while. These things are all within my reach, but I'm yet to reach out and sieze them. And in some cases I almost don't want to be able to strike them off the list just yet. It's not like I'm waiting for something to happen before I seize them. I just feel I need to take my time, pace myself, calm the restlessness, and enjoy the journey.

And so, here I am. Enjoying the journey!

crash and burn

it was tuesday. i rode my motorbike to work, because i had cycled to work on monday, and felt two days in a row would be too much to handle. and monday was a lot of cycling, as not only did I have an eye checkup after work (all clear, yay!), but also did grocery shopping, and at a store that wasn't exactly on the most efficient route home.

so yes, it was tuesday. i was a little low on energy. a friend who volunteers with citizen sea reminded me of today's meetup after work, at bangor, which I had completely forgotten about. If I had remembered it in advance, I'd have definitely planned my day better. but anyway, since I had ridden the motorbike to work, I could make it - so I told her I would be there.

as I got through the day I felt like I wasn't as high on energy as I'd have liked to be and decided it's better I head home after work instead. I wasnted to sleep early that night, so I made myself a decaf at my desk instead of my usual 3:30pm capuccino from the cafeteria. for some reason, I simply didn't enjoy the decaf - I literally was nursing it till 6pm when I chucked it into the sink and decided to go home. as I packed my stuff into my motorbike, I decided to take my office laptop home, as I was planning to finish converting my rig to work with the office laptop (I had just ordered a USB C to HDMI adaptor so I could use both screens with the laptop). I also thought to myself, I'm better off putting everything into the topbox as I planned to park the bike in the shed, from where it's hard to access the panniers.

It had been raining all day, but it had stopped by the time I left office. I called shruti and asked if there's anything we needed. she said nope (when I got home, it turns out she forgot we needed milk), so I took the direct route home, the shortest way. at one of the junctions, I usually decide whether to go straight or take a left, depending on which traffic light is green. today, the one for the left was green, so I took that one. a couple of minutes later, I was at a junction. The traffic lights were all unlit. It seems they were not working.

There were two cars ahead of me. The furthest car literally waited a few minutes before finally getting a chance to get through the junction. I remember waiting behind, engine running, for what seemed like an eternity.

I remember thinking to myself: if I had gone traight I'd have been home by now!

My next thought was: if it's so hard to get through this junction, I could just turn around and take the other one.

I don't know what stopped me from doing that. I was in no hurry to get home, that was just an idle thought, and maybe that first car got through the junction before I could change my mind? I don't know.

Anyway, next thing, I was at the junction, ready to take that right turn.

After waiting for what again seemed like forever, maybe even letting a gap in the traffic go because I was overly cautious and other vehicles seemed to be speeding, I finally saw a gap in traffic in both directions and started taking the turn real slow.

The rest is a blur.

It's crazy, what being rear-ended by a heavy car when you're taking a turn on a motorbike feels like. Nothing ever prepared me for that feeling. I felt the bike being pushed forward from under me, and none of it made sense. I don't know what I did - did I brake? Did I pull in the clutch? I'm sure I didn't have the chance to straighten the handlebars. I don't really know what happened before I found myself on the road, bike on its side, thankfully the tip-over bars ensured I didn't get pinned down, and the absolutely low speed involved meant I wasn't dragged or anything. It was so slow that I didn't even check myself for injuries before I got to my feet. But the force of the impact was enough to move the bike a fair distance - it probably slid on the left pannier and the tip over bar.

The bike looked bad, but the ignition was still on, and the engine was possibly still running (the pan european has a bank angle sensor that is supposed to cut off the engine when tipped over, and I know it worked because I have dropped it once when parking!), but either way I got to it and turned off the key to ensure there was no chance of a fire or anything in case fuel had spilled.

The driver of the car asked if I was OK, and I said I felt OK. I took off my helmet and set it on the sidewalk as I gathered my wits. A couple of passers-by tried to get the bike up but were unable to - I helped them get it up and on the stand. A cheeky boy of maybe 10 asked if the bike would be rideable again. I replied, probably not. The men who helped me get the bike on the stand said we should try to get it off the road as it was obstructing traffic. I turned the key in the ignition, and cranked the start switch. It didn't start on the first or second try, and there was a very faint smell of fuel. I turned it off, gave it a few seconds, and turned it back on again. This time, it did start and we got the bike on the footpath. One of the guys told me he was happy to be a witness for the insurance and police if required. He had taken a photo of the number plate of the car. He couldn't figure how to save my number on his phone, but finally figured it out with some help. He texted me and I got it. He offered me a lift home but I said that's fine. He picked up a few bits from the road, and asked me if any of this would be of any use. The only useful part I found was the left mirror cover (which contains the turn signal).

I sat on the footpath for a minute and tried to gather my thoughts.

I really don't know if I did. I definitely don't remember anything.

It was probably around that point that I realized my jeans had ripped and it felt like my right butt was open to the world. I checked it with my hand, and thankfully my undies hadn't ripped.

One thing I did realize that putting the laptop and my backpack in the topbox instead of the panniers saved them from most of the impact - the topbox didn't have a scratch on it.

And at that time all the decisions I made today started to replay in my head. What if I had headed to Bangor instead? Or taken that other junction? Or turned around instead of waiting? Or worst of all, what if I cycled to work?

I visualized being rear-ended by the same land rover on my bicycle instead (I take that same route home on my bicycle on days when I don't do groceries - it has the second gentlest incline compared to the other routes, and is shorter than the gentlest incline). I definitely would have been much worse off on the cycle. I wondered if I'd have died if it happened when I was on the cycle. But I reasoned to myself, that if it was such a long wait, I'd have taken to riding on the footpath instead.

I also remembered the near-miss I had the previous week when an elderly car driver almost crashed into me becasue he did not give way when I was already on the roundabout. It didn't strike me then, but thinking back now, that was my previous journey on the motorbike!

By then the police arrived, they radioed the station in, filled a report, took some photos and my details, I passed on the details of the other driver and car, and asked if I needed A&E. I said I feel OK, and I think I can make an attempt to ride home. They were OK with that. They also noticed the traffic chaos and turned their attention to directing traffic because it looked like another accident might happen any moment.

After a few minutes, I got back on the bike, and the police directed me to rejoin traffic. I rode home really slowly, and I was conscious of a car following me at a greater than usual distance, probably because they could see the amount of mangled plastic and bits dangling off the bike.

The bike seemed to ride prettty OK, and when I was at the last traffic light from home, I called Shruti from my helmet intercom and told her I met an accident, but I'm fine, and am almost home now.

I arrived home without further event. My neighbour (not the next door one I talk to often, but the one few houses up) even saw the bike and didn't react. Maybe because he saw the right side of the bike that didn't have as much damage as the left.

As I took the key out of the ignition and hopped off, Shruti opened the door and came out to see me, the bike and help me take my stuff in.

I don't remember much of the rest of the evening, other than I was still in so much shock that I actually forgot the key in the topbox! I saw it when I was leaving for the doctor the next morning! I guess nobody would steal a crashed bike anyway, so it wasn't that bad.

I don't know if I've blogged my previous accidents, but one thing's for sure - they're as fresh in my mind as if they happened yesterday. Every crash I've walked away from has left me grateful that I've got off without any permanent physical damage, and lived to ride another day.

I don't know if I should ride again. The wrist fracture (it's a chipped bone and not a fracture-fracture, as per the xray) should heal uneventfully, but still.

The feeling of being rear-ended on a motorbike without any inkling of anything about to happen is very hard to get over.