learning to drive: beyond handling the car part 2 (roundabouts!)

 (side note: it's now over a year since I've passed my driving test, and I don't remember the individual lessons any more... bummer! I'll still do my best to put everything down)

For reference, all my posts about my driving lessons:

all my notes about driving in the UK

So, so far I had learned stopping and starting, positioning on the road, turns, basic road safety (including traffic lights, pedestrians and crossings) and junctions.

I also managed to drive home with this basic knowledge, which felt great!

There's one precursor to the next topic, and that's changing lanes.

Changing lanes

Lane changing is best done when anticipated well in advance, so it pays to know in advance which lane you need to be in to make the change smooth and efficient. By default, you need to be in the left lane, unless you have a good reason to be in any other one.

Good reasons include:

• The left lane is an active bus lane that you're not allowed to drive in
• Car(s) parked in the left lane up ahead (as soon as you see a parked car in the distance, you can change lanes)
• Turning right
• Road markings showing the left lane is for left turns only
• Road markings/signs indicating you need to change lanes (lanes merging, bus lane starting ahead, road work/lane closure etc)
• Left lane blocked by traffic turning left and the right lane is allowed to go straight

If you have moved to the right lane to pass parked vehicles, you should move back to the left lane after the last parked vehicle, if there are no other parked vehicles in sight ahead - if there are vehicles ahead, you can continue in your lane.

If there's a bus lane in action, and a junction, there will be a marking indicating from where vehicles can enter it for the junction. The arrow will also indicate if other vehicles can enter the bus lane only to turn left at the junction (arrow will point left), or to enter both to go straight and left (arrow will point straight). Also, lane changes are forbidden over solid white lines.

To change lanes, it's mirors, signal, manoeuvre: rearview (to check for vehicles too close or already in the process of changing lanes), mirror on the side you're turning, and then signal if clear and safe. Then, quickly, again, reareview and side mirror, blind spot (over the shoulder), look strsaight again, and if everything clear, change lanes quickly, then cancel the turning signal. If more than one consecutive lane change is required, repeat everything (making sure you turn off the signal after each lane change) - this requires plenty of room and planning!

If moving into the left lane immediately after passing a parked vehicle, and planning to continue straight after the lane change, there is no need to signal left. However, if not done immediately after passing the parked vehicle, you do need to signal besides doing everything else.

Next up: the thing that most people find the most complicated bit about driving (and definitely something I didn't have to deal with in India): Roundabouts!

There are two types of roundabouts: mini roundabouts (mostly just a painted circle, about a foot in diameter, in the centre of a small junction) and all other roundabouts, but the rules are almost the same for both.

Roundabouts

Roundabouts will have a sign on approach, and will also have markings indicating each exit. Lanes may be marked for each exit on the road (with arrows marking which directions each lane can be used for), and optionally on signs on the left of the road, or even the median if there is one. If no direction is marked marked for each lane, the left-most lane is always used for exits turning left, right-most lane is used for turning right, If more than one left turning lane is available, vehicles taking the first exit on the left have to be in the left-most lane. On approaching the roundabout, count the number of exits till the one you need to take (starting clockwise from your current position). Make note of dead-ends as well, as those will be marked differently on the roundabout sign. Also make note of the direction in which the desired exit is. Any exit that's left of 11 O'clock is considered a left exit, and any that's right of 1 O'clock is considered a right exit. If taking a right exit, position in the appropriate right lane, and signal right. If taking a left exit, position in the approproate left lane, but ONLY signal left if taking the first exit. No signal if going straight (ie between roughly 11 O'clock and 1 O'clock).

Approaching the roundabout, slow down and prepare to stop, taking all usual precautions (check rearview for tailing vehicles).

If it's a signalled roundabout, and the signal is green, and the path ahead is not blocked, enter the roundabout.

If it's not a signalled roundabout, it's quite complicated:

• Check the path to your exit: do not enter the roundabout if your path to exit the roundabout is blocked with vehicles that are not moving.
• Do not enter the roundabout if there is a vehicle already on the roundabout to your right, unless the vehicle has its left signal on, and is turning left off the roundabout - that should be into the road you're exiting. If the left signal is on but the vehicle is not moving left and cannot be clearly observed to be exiting the roundabout, assume the signal has been wrongly turned on - don't enter the roundabout.
• Do not enter the roundabout if there's a moving vehicle about to enter from your immediate right, even if it's close to the give-way line but not crossed it yet.
• If there is no vehicle on the roundabout, and no vehicle entering it from your immediate right, proceed to enter the roundabout.
• If you have stopped at the roundabout, be ready in first gear with clutch at biting point and foot brake held, ready to go. Once there is no vehicle on the roundabout and any vehicle on the right is stopped (ie probably waiting for another vehicle on its right), enter the roundabout immediately.

If there are lanes marked by exit on the roundabout, get into the appropriate lane. If there are lanes but no markings, enter on the left lane if taking an exit on the left, or centre lane if taking an exit that's more than 11 O'clock. Once on the roundabout, speed up to 2nd gear (~15-20mph) if safe to do so. Count the exits as you pass them. Once past the exit before the one you intend to take, is when things happen REALLY quickly: Check your rearview, then left mirror, and signal left. Check your left blind spot (ie head over left shoudler), then head straight ahead facing where you're going, and turn left into the exit. If there's a fair distance between the previous exit and your exit, repeat the left blind spot check before exiting. You must be facing straight before you start to exit.

Once off the roundabout, cancel your left signal. Phew!

One caveat: there is one roundabout in Belfast where the two exits are so near each other that there's no room to signal left. That's the only one where you shouldn't (as you should only signal left AFTER you pass the last exit you are't going to take). Yes, unless someone told you this, you would fail your test if you happened to take that roundabout and signalled left. Talk about exceptions to the rule!

Roundabouts are really hard to get the hang of, and probably take the most practice - any mistake results in a major fault, and even not going when you can counts as "undue hesitation" and gives you a minor fault! Practice is everything, and this is one bit where my instructor came really handy - his patience (and a couple of emergency stops/steers when I made mistakes!) probably saved me from more than one crash while learning! You also have to be 100% bang on with starting quickly and cofidently, because if you take too long to get going, the vehicle on your right will enter the roundabout before you. Holding up traffic due to undue hesitation will also give you a fail.

Mini roundabouts

Mini roundabouts are quite similar to regular roundabouts, with only a couple of rules relaxed (and the roundabout + roads leading to it and exiting would usually be single lane), so a lot less streessful.

Approaching, you'll always want to be pretty slow, as these are going to be quite tight turns, and these will always be in urban areas, and on pretty narrow roads. There's also a likelihood of vehicles being parked on the sides of roads, pedestrians, kids, etc - basically just go really slow. Before the roundabout, you need your turn signal on if turning left or right. As you get to the roundabout (there will be give-way lines), check what's ahead and what's on the right. A mini-roundabout is only big enough to hold one vehicle at any time. If there's a vehicle that's past the give way line,no matter which exit (left, ahead, right) you stop at the give way line. If there's no vehicle inside the roundabout, and there's a vehicle waiting at the roundabout on your right, you give way to it. If there's a vehicle to your left, it would be waiting for you to proceed. The only ambiguity (to me) is when a vehicle is waiting to enter the roundabout from ahead. In this case, the highway code is ambiguous, and it's safest to wait for a bit and proceed if the oncoming vehicle does not proceed. There's a similar ambiguous situation when all 4 roads leading to the mini-roundabout have vehicles waiting. Must be quite rare, as the rules say nothing about what to do in this situation - whoever enters the roundabout first has the right of way.

At this point, I had pretty much covered everything involved with "regular" driving - it was just a matter of practice. Lane changes and roundabouts take LOTS of practice to get perfectly. 45 hours in, my success rate with roundabouts was still not 100% (but luckily, good enough for me to pass :D)

A few weeks of roundabouts down, I was pretty confident, and focusing on learning the quirks of the roads around belfast (tricky roundabouts, junctions where lane signs appear so late that you have to memorise them or you won't be pass your test safely :D).

The only things left then: practice (lots of practice) and a few manoeuvres thast are part of the test!

my experiments with food

TL;DR: If you want the short story, scroll to lists at the bottom :D

I've always loved to experiment with myself, and while I'm not very systematic/scientific about it, I have found certain experiments "just work" without sweating the details.

I've also always been fascinated with "paleo" - mostly just because it seemed instinctively right to me. My attempts at following it haven't been the great success others have made them out to be. It's hard to say why - I know that I've never maanged to sustain the activity level and type a paleo diet recommends. I did try it half-heartedly for years though.

I've also experimented with exercise and diet - that was for a much shorter time, becasue, for me, exercise seems to require external motivation (i.e. company) and company is a very difficult thing to have consistently.

And then, lockdown happened.

Coincidentally, just before March, we were going through a rather bad comfort-eating spell ourselves. Packaged microwave TV dinners and the like. So when we were locked indoors, the time was perfect.

Shruti had great experiences with keto, although I wasn't fully convinced going without fruit and other carbs was good for me, I thought I'd give it a go with her. We started sometime in March (or was it April? I'm so unscientific I don't even know the month, forget the date we started!), but I do remember it took us 3 weeks of eating through our stockpiled supplies (we didn't go crazy munching on all the junk at home in one go :D) from the day we decided, before we actually started in earnest.

The first few days were weird. Figuring how to cook the stuff we were to eat, how to make it satisfying, how to control the cravings. And damn... what cravings! We were already down to just one slice of bread a day (with our breakfast), but breakfast without bread was weird. And then there was the matter of portion control. We had absolutely no idea how much food we'd need. And we were aiming to only do groceries once a week. We started running out of eggs pretty quickly. And everything else seemed to slow down. Suddenly, we were only eating two meals a day - breakfast and dinner. Shruti decided she won't eat after 8pm. I decided I'd only eat when I'm hungry, mealtimes be damned.

We controlled our cravings.

Made sure we don't slip up.

We had 0 cheat meals for the first two weeks.

Two weeks later, Shruti wanter her first "cheat meal". I don't remember what it was, but I don't think I enjoyed it as much as she did.

I had stopped craving the stuff I decided I won't eat.

Two weeks in, we were already losing weight.

About one kg a week!

I decided I had to go back to having fruits. It just felt wrong to me.

I loaded up on fruits. Whenever I was hungry, I'd have a fruit. Breakfast, fruit, dinner.

About 6kg or so in, I was looking visibly thinner. People were beginning to notice (in photos - we were still not meeting people). I gradually started onions, spinach, and then tomatoes. So far, so good. Shruti also found food more palatable with these few additions, so it worked for both of us. We started eating more common meals.

At some point, Shruti plateaued. I pushed a bit by upping my activity levels (also, since it was summer and bright till late, I was happy to go cycling when it was dry).

At my lightest, I reached 65 kg. I felt on top of the world. I purchased two tees to try at home, as clothes stores weren't allowing trials in store. Size XS. The cashier was unconvinced. I was unconvinced too. But 21 days' free returns, so why not.

The tees fit.

I fit into the smallest size an adult male could wear in the UK.

I was the same weight as I was when I was 13.

I was 13 24 years ago!

At this point, I declared my experiment a success.

Also, at this point, Shruti's motivation began to give way. Cheat meals got more frequent. The cravings were back. I realized how tricky paleo is for me - after every cheat day, I had to voluntarily control myself very carefully for the next couple of days or there'd be no turning back. And there were a couple of weeks where most of the days were "cheat days".

Surprisingly, my weight stayed put. I couldn't believe it. I was hovering around 66 without following any diet! How was that even possible?

Turns out, it wasn't possible. I'm now back to 68. And I can see the momentum. About half a kg every week.

Looks like it's time to "reset". But before I embark on the next phase, let's put things down for posterity.

So, here's what worked for me:

1. Control what you eat, not how much you eat. If (and that's a big IF!) you eat right, you'll know when you're full, and won't feel hungry until it's time to eat again.
2. (For me, not for Shruti - although I don't know how much was due to her body and how much was forced control - she's very good at control!) Don't control when you eat. If you wake up at 8am feeling hungry, go for it. If you thought you're full at 8pm so skipped dinner, but are suddenly hungry at midnight, don't go to bed hungry. MAYBE if you wake up in the middle of the night, just eat a few nuts and drink some water.
3. Don't buy stuff you don't want to eat, until the day you want to eat it. This worked well since we do our groceries on weekends, and that's also when we have the time to savour our "cheat meals".
4. Food is overrated. Cheat meals are overrated. They are merely gateways to happy memories associated with the food involved.
5. Alcohol is overrated. But it's hard to diffrentiate between alcohol and the junk that goes with it, so it's still hard to say. A double of good quality alcohol on ice at home is the sweet spot (no puns intended) for me. More than that, and I start craving junk. And if there's junk on hand, I'm out of control.

Here's what didn't work for me:

1. The 80-20 rule. Lots of places online said if you stick to your diet 80% of the time, you don't need to worry about the remaining 20%. Didn't work. Remember that one slice of bread? If I had my breakfast with one slice of bread daily, the rest of my day was inevitably out of control. As simple as that. IF the 80-20 rule worked for anyone, it was probably because they were using external control.
2. Socializing over alcohol. It's just impossible to stick to reasonable amounts of alcohol in social situations. While that worked well in lockdown, it didn't work when lockdown was lifted.
3. Watching my weight. It took 3 months of kinda-not-following the diet before I started gaining weight. But when I started, it seems like I can't stop. There were no warning signs - once I started piling the pounds back on, it was already too late.
4. Socializing in general. When there are other people involved, it's very hard to stick to your diet without feeling weird. If it wasn't for lockdown, I'd probably never have pulled this off!
5. Vacations are difficult. It's either processed food, or breaking my rules. Very hard to have a good time (since my vacations also involve eating and drinking local!) and stick to my diet.
6. Buying cheat snacks "for later". NEVER EVER WORKED.
7. Portion control when it comes to "cheat snacks"/meals. Once the bag of crisps is open, it's going in. Ditto for cake (serves 6? I'll have all 6 slices in one go!)

And finally, for those who don't know what paleo is, here's my interpretation of it:

• Only eat unprocessed food
• Only eat food that's sold raw
• NO sugar, NO grains, NO lentils. NO anything that can't be eaten raw or roasted.
• Plenty of protein (but not obsessive amounts of it) - 3 whole eggs for breakfast is usually adequate, the rest is in my dinner. I enjoyed egg bhurji the most (especially boiled egg bhurji!), but it was good no matter what. As long as there were 3 eggs in it. More on that in another blog post!
• Plenty of fruit and nuts.
• As much vegetables as desired, with one caveat: too much salad made me full but low on energy.
• For meals, I switched between red/white/oily fish and the occasional shellfish. On days I wasn't too hungry, it was just veggies.
• Rendered fat > oil. However generous you are with fat, if things are being roasted, you'll be consuming minimal quantities of it anyway. The air fryer made it easy to render fat and roast.
• Minimal salt, generous spices. NO sauces.
• The one thing I didn't follow as well as I should have: Hydrate!
• Technically I should have stopped dairy, but I didn't.
• I also didn't bother with much exercise, although I made it a point to be active. Walking and cycling, when weather suited. About twice a week. Not even half as active as I was, when I was cycling to work daily but not following any diet!

aches

 a few years ago, I remember the day, after one long ride, I got home, depressed.

told wifey that this feels like it's the end of the line for me. the end of everything i feel brings fulfillment to my life.

i had my first post-ride backache.

i don't remember where the ride was from, or how that happened (probably bad posture caused by having a tent or something between us on the seat), but i do remember how i felt: a bad back was the end of riding the way i love. throw everything on, hop on, and ride off, just taking care of sleep and hydration until i arrived at my destination.

I didn't want to be one of those guys who only rides solo, or needs a backup vehicle, or takes his motorcycle out twice a year and takes a day off work after i'm back to recover. to me, that would have been the end of all things fun.

luckily for me, shruti convinced me i was overreacting, and that it was a one-off, and i believed her.

she also suggested core-strengthening exercises, but i didn't quite bother with those. anyway.

the last few weeks have brought the same thoughts back to me.

vicki has been out of action for the last few weeks (over a month, actually!).

and right after that, I have been put out of action myself.

it started with a strange ache in my right shoulder, extending down the shoulder blade. just the right side.

a few days of being attentive to my posture while working from home helped greatly, and I recovered after about a week. which was a lot longer than it's taken me to recover from any ache so far!

two good weeks later, I woke up with an extremely bad neck. so bad, that I literally couldn't get out of bed till 4pm, and even then I was in such intense pain I had to be helped out.

I literally couldn't move.

I tried everything from stretching, moving my head as much as I could (which wasn't much), etc. Since it happened while I was asleep, I assumed it was something with my sleeping posture. Shruti insisted it was due to bad posture while working.

The next day, I was a little more careful about how I slept, but there was barely any improvement. I did manage to get out of bed and get a whole day's work done though. Also hit the gym for an "upper body" day, which helped things somewhat.

It's been two weeks now, and it's a constant battle of sleeping extremely carefully (even the slightest bad move results in excruciating pain an hour later) - the complete opposite of my entire life so far.

Even when I'm sitting at the PC, if I'm in one spot for an hour, or have a cushion in the wrong spot - literally anything less than perfect - I'm in pain again.

I don't know if it's just an injury that will take a while to recover from, or if I'm going to have to make a permanent lifestyle change.

Either way, it is a very depressing thought.

I just hope I'm overreacting, like I was a few years ago.

static

 I realize most of life is cyclical. Ups and downs. Never a straight line. A dynamic equilibrium.

Seasons are cyclical too.

And this pandemic is turning out to be more cyclical than initially imagined.

But there are times when things do not seem cyclical.

Halfway on the way up of the cycle, just before things start to taper off, we probably don't care much. Things are great, sure, and even if the upward trajectory seems like it will flatten out, it's still great, right?

Things are different on the downturn though.

Things are going downhill, fast.

The trajectory is headed straight down, with no apparent force to bring things back to flat.

But as things go downhill, the feedback should start to kick in. Shouldn't it?

Survival instinct is a label for so much more than it might seem like on the surface.

At what point does too much of a good thing become a bad thing?

How do you turn too much of a good thing, that's become a bad thing, back into a good thing?

Is it really about the good thing or the bad thing?

Time continues to move at its constant pace, while my perception of it seems to slow down. Days, weeks, months lived without a trace. And all this while, what seemed like things going OK is actually more like dropping at terminal velocity, giving the impression that nothing is moving.

I don't think I have ever spent such a long period of time just... static.

Not moving.

Not thinking.

Not anything.

And the funny thing is, I know what can help me.

I need to get off the couch and drink a glass of water.

Stretch my legs.

And m shoulders. Damn, my shoulders need a stretch!

Take out the trash.

Fill some air in the bike.

But I'd rather not.

And that's what worries me.

paypal scam/security issue: you could be billed by merchants you've terminated your agreement with!

Paypal users:

Turns out some sellers add themselves as pre-approved billers and don't/can't remove themselves when you cancel your membership/billing agreement. You have to remove it yourself, or they could charge your paypal in the future without any advance warning. Your only clue would be a notification that the money has already been deducted from your paypal, and at that point you cannot decline/reverse the transaction by yourself.

To prevent that, remove unwanted billers from the following link:

https://www.paypal.com/myaccount/autopay/

When I checked today, I had a couple of merchants on the list who I have not used in years, and am personally aware of merchants who have fraudulently charged people I know in the last couple of days. 

Paypal refuses to entertain any complaints regarding merchants if they're on the list - their argument is that you have agreed to be billed by the merchant, so any problems are now between you and the merchant. Paypal has also said that the agreement can only be ended if agreed by the user AND the merchant, which leaves the feature wide open for abuse.

The feature of being able to view pre-approved billers is new to paypal even though having pre-approved billers is an old thing. it could be that paypal added the feature in response to complaints, but their handling remains poor. Please take care of yourselves by removing billers from the list, or you might be faced with a lengthy fight to get your money back! If the balance was deducted from paypal itself you're out of luck. If it was deducted from your credit card you still have hope as you can raise a dispute there.

ps: special shout out to past users of Shaw academy (www.shawacademy.com), as they recently did this (deduct money from people who had canceled their memberships over a year ago)

problems and solutions

some problems become easier to solve by merely by thinking of the solution.

others need you to actually grab your tools, get over your fears and get your hands dirty while getting nowhere, and then dig in and remind yourself the biggest failure is to never have tried.

- kris, trying to solve two different problems on the same day

38... sorry, 37

you know you're old when you need to subtract your birth year from the current year to get your age.
-kris, not many years ago

 

you know you're old when you subtract your birth year from the current year to get your age, and get it wrong.
-kris, 15th august 2020

That's right. It happened. Luckily for me, I realized it before I posted my age anywhere... or wrote this blog post.

It's been an interesting year, for sure.

Last year, on my birthday, I had just passed my UK driving test (oh yeah!), and was preparing for my motorcycle test. My parents were over for a 3 month visit. We were doing one vacation every month.

Things seemed to be going rather nicely. Everything was "on track" - I was checking things off my (imaginary) checklist, and so was Shruti.

In the 12 months since then, things have changed.

Work got busier, our vacations changed from hopping on to a flight/train/bus to hopping onto our newly purchased motorcycle (and usually, taking the motorcycle on and off a ferry).

I discovered the joy of running. And for the first time in my life, I was able to run 5K without limping past the finish line with my legs on fire. I was able to run 5K thrice a week, during my lunch breaks, chatting with my running buddies while we ran. I could probably have run 5k every day if I wanted to, but I didn't.

Shruti got her first full time permanent job in the UK. A big relief (and step forward) for the both of us.

We about a month of dealing with living in a house with both of us working from office 5 days a week.

And then, COVID-19 happened.

Beyond the obvious canceled vacations (and postponed visit to see our family back in India), and the expected cabin fever/work from home etc that everyone we know had (/has?) to deal with, we got to experience more time together than we usually would. For the first time since we met each other, we've been within 12 feet of each other almost 24 * 7. We got to watch each other work, share our ups and downs in ways we never imagined we would.

We also realized that if we take away the social aspect of eating/drinking, it stops being fun. And so, we embarked on a health trip of sorts. No significant exercise, but just eating healthy. Eating clean.

I lost 8kg in 4 months (that's over 10% my body weight). I'm now lighter than I was 20 years ago. The last time I weighed this much, I was an acne-riddled teenager, who hadn't had my first shave yet.

And for the first time, this feels sustainable. Almost.

It feels amazing to be able to use my body the way nature intended it to. And while I'm not in perfect shape, it doesn't seem like i'm very far from it (yes, i know, there's no such thing as "perfect" anything, but let's just say I have an idealized image of what I would like to be).

On the other hand, it's also been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster.

I've tried to ride the rollercoaster the best I can, trying to reach for greater heights, and avoiding the murky depths of no return. So far, so good - but there are times when it feels like it's just sheer luck that keeps me from doing things I'd regret.

I have tried to learn from this year. I have tried to learn differently from this year.

I have tried solving problems as a partnership.

I have tried not "fixing" situations, but working cooperatively to find sustainable solutions for everyone involved.

It's hard to say that it's working - things always seem good until they're falling apart. In fact, things seem better than good until everything flips and it's suddenly a complete disaster.

But I'm learning to see things differently. And I'm also learning that it's not enough to see things differently, but to also try to see things alike. And work together towards that ideal.

Also, after maybe 15 years of "make every moment count", and frantic madness of trying to squeeze the most I can into every day of my life (only to despair when the unsustainability of it all comes back to bite me), I've started treating my life as a journey, not a series of destinations.

I once believed (and publicly stated) "life is too short for reruns". I don't believe so any more. Life is not too short for reruns. Life is too short to waste it doing things you don't enjoy.

Life is too short to waste it trying to be happy within the constraints I've assumed I need to live within.

Life is long enough to make every moment count. Even if it's not on the bucket list.

Life is more than a bucket list. Life does not even need a bucket list. Life just needs you to be mindful of what is fulfilling (not necessarily happiness-generating), and what is not.

Oh, and age is not even a number.