it's not "working out"

a little under three months ago, I decided I'm gonna put all procrastination behind me and join a gym. the office gym seemed the most likely candidate, as I've already tried gyms near home, and that didn't work out well for me. in fact, today is the last day of my 3 year membership of a local gym, which I used (cumulatively) for about a month.

at first, it seemed all circumstances were conspiring against me. I took my gym bag and shoes to office, filled the online sign up form, and after a few days of procrastination, actually went to the gym on a monday evening... only to be turned away by the person in charge, as the gym was shutting for two weeks for renovation, starting Wednesday. and i was going for a week long vacation the very day the gym reopened. so, that day, I made a public announcement that I was going to join gym on April 1st.

finally, the appointed day arrived. I took my change of clothes and shoes, which had been lying in office for a month, and signed up. the evaluation took too long and I was going to push it for the next day as I was about to miss the office bus, but i decided I had to be tough with myself about this. and so, I finished my evaluation and a short jog on the treadmill, and reached home super late, but happy. I had finally started.

I went to gym for all of April. I went in the evening, I went in the morning. I started carrying a second tiffin for my post workout meal. I even started cooking my second tiffin myself, as it was super boring to eat the same thing twice a day.

I started following my diet faithfully.

and despite the burden on my schedule (i didn't have time for anything else at all), I was enjoying it. gym was fun, I could see very obvious improvement to my strength, stamina and overall well being. people even complimented me on my improved looks, and although I'm not convinced there was any noticeable change, I accepted the compliments graciously and happily.

I thought I was falling into a rhythm of sorts, even though I was somewhat sleep deprived and very short on personal time. I started figuring solutions to the various things that were causing friction in this new found lifestyle. couple of my friends joined too, seeing my enthusiasm.

for the first time in my life, it seemed to be working out. and it did, for precisely a month.

someone told me that if you do something for 21 days, it becomes a habit for life.

that person was wrong.

precisely one month later, one Monday (may 2), i missed gym, as I had to come late to work and leave late, and i gave my bike to the mechanic on the way.

the next day, I had to leave early to pick up the bike from the mechanic before he shut.

I don't even remember what happened the day after that.

but I do know that I have a change of clothes that have been lying untouched in my desk in office for precisely a month.

there have been days when I've even cooked my second tiffin and taken it to work, but taken it back home (or worse, ate it before leaving office).

I just don't know how i managed to miss gym for a whole month. and most of those days I even set off from home will all intent to go.

and i don't care either.

I'm going back to gym today. without my second tiffin.

and this time, I won't stop.

but the fact remains, i still don't know how.